How to grieve.
Friday, February 12, 2010
My uncle passed away this week. He was 52. He has two little kids and a wife. He was sick for the last few years, had been battling brain tumors. His oldest son, on that night, said "i'm happy for my dad." such wisdom for such a young person.
Everyone has been grieving and preparing for so long. He went in to Hospice in late December. By now it seems like they are all relieved, ready to move forward. When my mom called me to tell me the news, she said (later in the conversation), 'well, i think it's about time to take down the kids table from Thanksgiving. In fact, i think it's about time we have Christmas.'
I didn't take the time to visit, to deal with it all, while he was sick. I saw him twice. So i have to deal with it all now. It effing sucks. It just breaks my heart to imagine losing a parent, to imagine what my aunt and my cousins are going through. But i feel pretty good about the way i'm dealing. The old me would have bottled up my feelings, hid in bed all week. But instead, i went to work, even though i cried in the stairwell. I went to the gym, i am cooking healthier versions of my Yiayia's recipes, to bring to the family gathering on Saturday. I have found, actually, that cooking and feeding others is very cathartic.
I'm not sure how the family togetherness will go. I try not to associate myself with some of the relatives on that side. I guess i'll just have to be polite and keep a distance, and keep in mind (despite what they'll probably think,) Saturday is not about them.