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    JCORYCMA   14,908
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As the Spark Turns: My Affair

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Thursday, February 04, 2010

Yes. It's true, Spark friends. I had an affair.

Let me start at the beginning...

I met him at the gym soon after I joined. I was attracted to him immediately. He was friendly and... Inviting. He beckoned me. He was smooth and suave and encouraged me to be comfortable with my body. I had nothing to be ashamed of. Next thing I knew I was standing before him wearing nothing but the tiny threadbear towel that the Y provides. I was so nervous the first time. I don't know why. I felt like a loser but he made me feel like a winner.
I was orgasmic!

I quickly became obsessed. I wanted to see him every day. And everyday after my workout, I'd use the bathroom, shower off my sweat with a scented shower gel and slip up on him wearing nothing but that tiny towel...

He knew what I was thinking. I didn't even have to speak. Did I feel down?, he murmured. Why? Because, I answered, I did everything right. I watched what I ate. I exercised. I wanted to be thin for him. I thought about him all the time...

But after a while, I started slipping. I was afraid to face him. I got dressed right after my shower and didn't visit him.

He accused me of ignoring him. I DIDN'T ignore him. I ate a tenderloin with onions last night. I didn't want to offend him. He cooed -- cajoled -- tempted me. Truth or Dare. Until I agreed once again to strip and ...
I climbed on him and locked eyes. Gently holding my breath as I caressed his arm. Slowly sliding it across. Gasp! I opened my eyes and he was smiling. I was still that loser that felt like a winner. He helped me dodge a bullet.
Confident that I was THE ONE, the special one, I watched as another woman flirted with him. She tried to get that smile from him but ultimately turned away spurned and looked forlorn.
"Down?", I asked "No", she sighed. "I don't even know why I bother"! With a smirk I thought to myself I didn't know why she bothered either...

All was fine for awhile. I quietly repeated my ritual with him everyday. Ecstatic after seeing him. Riding home from the gym on a high.
But ---
It didn't last. He eventually became more and more demanding. Jealous. Possessive. He accused me of spending more time on the treadmill. Forgetting about him. I tried to reassure him that with my workout taking a little longer, I just had to hustle to get home. I didn't want my husband to get worried and suspicious. I promised that I would try and spend time with him -- at least once a week if not more.

He pouted. When I did see him he wouldn't let me lose like he always had. He groaned when I tried to take his arm and I kept having to move it further away. I felt guilty at first. I had cheated on him with some french fries after all and not even the extra time spent with treadmill compensated. I vowed to not look lustfully after ANYTHING else - ever again.
He forgave and for awhile things stayed the same.


I caught him with that other woman. She had JUST came away from him and SHE was smirking! I held my head high as I marched past her and came up to him clutching the towel that barely covered my nakedness. I had nothing to be ashamed of. Didn't he always tell me that? It was true this time. I had been perfect. Thought of him and only him. I got on with confidence. Slowly I moved his arm to my usual favorite spot. He didn't respond. I nudged it a little further. Nothing. Panic started to set in. Confusion. You don't understand ---
I WAS PERFECT!!! How could he treat me this way? I was tempted to drop my tiny towel and humiliate myself right there in the women's locker room at the Y. Falling into my old pattern I started frantically searching my mind for what I could have done wrong. Why, I asked him, Why? What did I do to deserve this?
I must have looked dejected because smirking woman looked at me and said, "Plateau?"

Huh? I was in a daze. I looked at her and she went on, "I think he gets tired of seeing less and less of us", she chuckled at her own joke.

"It's OK", I said with false bravado, "Muscle weighs more than fat".

She burst out laughing. "How can that be? A pound is a pound is a pound..."
Only it didn't sound like mirthful laughter but more like mocking cruelty. I thought about it as I slowly dressed and she departed with a cheery wave. She was right! Weight is weight. No matter what HE says. One pound weighs one pound.

I turned and looked at him and I SWEAR he was smirking...

How could I be so stupid? I asked myself as I jerked open my car door. I felt guilty. Not for cheating on HIM. For cheating on myself. For not recognizing the signs. I was obsessed. I was self-centered and as addicted as any addict.
I didn't just not recognize the signs. I ignored them. What signs? The signs I was making progress despite "his help" ---

My clothes : emoticon My arms and legs: emoticon

Instead of emoticon on the treadmill, I was emoticon

I was eating emoticon emoticon and emoticon good!

I didn't need HIM to make me feel emoticon about myself!

I got home and confessed the whole saga to my husband. My obsession. My highs. My lows. The woman reminding me that a pound weighs a pound. He stopped me right there. He dug in the closet and came out with a small compact sphere of metal. He handed it to me and it was slightly heavy. It's a one pound weight he told me -- from one of his teaching science kits. He put it on the counter and got out the two BIG 8 oz. bags of marshmallows from the pantry and laid them beside the weight. They took up a goodly portion of the counter. A pound weighs a pound he said, but look at how condensed one is compared to the other. See? Muscle can weigh the same but take up a heck of a lot less room!

So even though HE said I wasn't a loser anymore, I was still a winner because I WAS thinner!

That did it. The next day after my workout I marched past him to the shower and when he called out asking if I was going to stop and see him I gave him an icy stare and said, Not today. Not tomorrow. Maybe NEVER!

Ultimately, Spark friends. I gave in and assigned visitation rights on Monday -- at work -- fully clothed -- on his compadre Mr. Digital. He doesn't coo and cajole. He spits up a number and I loosely pay attention to it to insure that I'm not way off base. Otherwise, I watch my tracker to see if I'm staying in my calorie range. I notice the thighs of my favorite jeans -- still loose and comfy? Could I climb those stairs with the basket of laundry and not give it a second thought?

AND I made myself a pact to never stray again.

Yep. The Love Affair with

Member Comments About This Blog Post:
WILLOWWEAVER 3/4/2010 5:09PM

    Are you a writer? What a great blog! and perfect timing as I had not even been on a scale for a long time and gained the weight all back. Now was beginning to get on the scale and worry about the numbers. What a great reminder! thank you! emoticon

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JOESSWEEPEA 2/26/2010 4:42PM

    Absolutely loved this! It reminds me once again not to hate the words "lean muscle mass"

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_MAOMAO_ 2/25/2010 11:30PM

  I'm ROFLMAO! Oh, that is so good. I just love it, thank you!

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NEED2DROP50 2/23/2010 10:42PM

    Loved this!

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LUNADRAGON 2/21/2010 3:24PM


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NWFL59 2/16/2010 5:23PM

    emoticon Thanks for the blog, I enjoyed reading it!

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THEQUEENBEE333 2/15/2010 5:16PM

    LOL! Loved it! Make this week great!

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    Very cute story...and a GREAT reminder!!

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TRISHP1961 2/13/2010 9:08PM

    Are you a writer by profession? This is very well done...

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KERENSALMW 2/13/2010 5:06PM

  Great story. I loved it. You really made my day. Thanks for sharing

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RUSTYSHAW1 2/13/2010 3:45AM

    What a fantastic story! You had me going for a while...then I got to way would you write about an..."affair" the style in which you expressed approaching a very 'tantalizing goal'...LOL...weight loss. Well done. emoticon

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MRSZIPPY1001 2/12/2010 12:34PM

  What a first great story for me to come upon...right up my alley! I love to write and I can so relate to this story - its hilarious! Can't wait to read the rest. Love your sense of humor...and I so "get that". emoticon

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TEDYBEAR2838 2/11/2010 9:45PM

    GreatPost Thank YOU!

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SIMPLELIFE4REAL 2/11/2010 7:34PM

    Very cute! Thanks for taking the time to write it. You make such a good point!

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    What a clever and humorous way to describe your experience; I love it!
Congratulations on your success!

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TIFFANY_SUZANNE 2/11/2010 3:43PM

    If you aren't inspiration, I don't know what is.

Oh and have I mentioned lately how much I adore your hubby?!? emoticon

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ALESHABEE 2/11/2010 12:52PM

    OMG!!! I love this!!!!

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MEOWROWRIE 2/11/2010 12:47PM

    What a terrific post! This was really well written and very funny! I need to stop my own love affair with the numbers!

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GETTINSEXIBACK 2/11/2010 12:08PM

    great story, I think we can totally relate. I didn't lose any weight this week, but my body fat decreased by 3.4% ...dropping marshmallows getting stronger is OK with me this week.

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ANIKA34 2/11/2010 10:29AM

    GREAT Blog! Made my day just to read it! Thanks for sharing!

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FREDDY1232 2/11/2010 1:33AM

    Very good blog. You had me going until the end. Good writing Thanks for this one. emoticon

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KMPHILLIPS1988 2/10/2010 8:26PM

    Wow I had no idea where you were going with it til i saw the picture at the end! lol Very creative way to tell a story most of us have!

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SANTANDERE 2/10/2010 8:23PM

    I loved reading your blog. emoticon

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G-MAMICK 2/10/2010 4:10PM

    Wow, this captures my "affair" with the same creature exactly. Right now it's so bad that every time I get up in the middle of the night to pee I weigh myself. It's so stupid! It's a digital scale and the light turns on when I step on it, so I close the bathroom door so my husband doesn't know what's going on, because I know that this is wrong, wrong, wrong. How do you put an end to this affair? emoticon

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OPAL50 2/10/2010 1:55PM

    Best and funniest (and truest) blog I've read all day. Thanks, I'm a fan!
emoticon emoticon emoticon

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JASCAT0507 2/10/2010 1:13PM

    That was AWESOME!!! I have to keep that in mind daily. The scale tells me I didn't lose weight but my clothes feel better and better. Thanks for sharing, I love the way you put it.

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PTREINER 2/10/2010 12:29PM

  Funny blog! I put away my home scale, which I used like an addict every day, and made a pact to weigh once a week only at the gym. That worked out great until the scale became unbalanced - on the heavy side! So, until it gets fixed, I'm using the clothes-fitting, can-I-add-more-weight/time-to-my-wo
rkout method of weighing myself. But I hope it gets fixed soon because I like to record the numbers on my tracker and see how close I'm getting to my next reward! Thanks for the story, the humor, and your message.

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JIMENESU 2/10/2010 1:27AM

  WOW... GOOD FOR YOU emoticon

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ORANGEAID2 2/9/2010 8:38PM

    LOL! I avoid my scale like a bad ex that you never want to see again! I need to go back to attending our weekly assigned visits tho...just to make sure we address some yet unanswered questions.

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RUNNING4MEXICO 2/9/2010 8:17PM

    Oh wow, you totally put a smile on my face today.

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GRANNYS5 2/9/2010 7:51PM

    This was Fantastic!! Thank you for such entertaining reading. emoticon emoticon emoticon

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SUE5007 2/9/2010 7:29PM

    You are hilarious!

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SCHNEBL 2/9/2010 6:42PM

    Fabulous piece of writing! I teach creative writing and this is a lovely piece. Keep up the good work! (with your weight loss AND your writing!)

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VICD25 2/9/2010 5:32PM

    Amen to that! What a great way to put the NUMBER in perspective. Way to put "him" in his place.


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NURSEMOMMY82 2/9/2010 5:31PM

    Amazing writing!

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MINYGRL 2/9/2010 5:24PM

  Puts everything in perspective! He is so seductive, tho......

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STARLIGHT615 2/9/2010 5:07PM

    OMG that was totally awesome!!! I emoticon IT!!!

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FATMAN210 2/9/2010 3:53PM


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DUKEFAN86 2/9/2010 2:56PM

    Loved this! Many thanks for sharing!

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    Absolutely Brilliant!!! Thank you so much for this delightful and truly captivating read.

emoticon Even caused me to take a second look at my own "lover". And, thinking now, I might have to throw his *ss to the curb one day soon, too. LOL!

Comment edited on: 2/9/2010 1:06:36 PM

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MINENA1 2/9/2010 11:01AM

    This was totally emoticon
Loved it!!! emoticon

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MCFERRET 2/9/2010 10:15AM

    Thanks for posting. I can so relate! My cat has been turning the scale on in the morning and it beckons me. But, like many, my weight fluctuates on a daily basis. Alot. Perhaps my love affair should be over and we can just be friends.

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MIZZOUMAC 2/9/2010 9:53AM

    Hilarious! emoticon

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NIKKI7727 2/9/2010 9:53AM

    Great Blog! I loved it! emoticon emoticon

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KCHONEY 2/9/2010 9:34AM

    Loved your blog! That man is EVIL! sometimes...

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RAVENDONNA 2/9/2010 7:17AM

  I really enjoyed this! Great writing. AND a great reminder. Thanks

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    that was great !!!!!!

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