There is no retreat. There is no turning back.
Thursday, February 04, 2010
I realize I have been beyond the tipping point for some time but it's weeks like these where I really appreciate the fact most of the time I live a healthy lifestyle and prefer it. My idea of over-eating these days is having a serving and a HALF of WHOLE WHEAT Pasta with ground turkey and organic spaghetti sauce, fresh grated parmesan cheese with 2 cups of fresh spinach and basil sprinkled on it and a fresh tomato chopped up into it. Oh and my glass of Simply Orange Juice with Pineapple with it. Then following it all with 2 chocolate VITA MUFFINS with one scoop of all natural vanilla bean ice cream. LOL. Umm ... maybe more calories than I want to spend but still within the calories for someone maintaining. It's just funny how "failure" feels like "failure" no matter what and where I am at in the process and there is always that white flag moment where I want to sound the trumpet to retreat ... give up. But then, always around the corner is another moment... another chance... to start anew.
My husband's unemployment runs out in a few weeks and this stress is weighing heavily on both our minds, wreaking havoc on both our routines, and basically we have been letting it get the best of us. Last night, we did a writing exercise that really makes me feel a lot better. I had him write down as many things he could think of that annoy him. Petty annoyances it is called. Then he wrote down his top moments from 2009. I had already done this, but I had him do the same and for whatever reason it really helps you see the forest from the trees and know really what is most important to you. From there we were able to see themes important to both of us and separately. And now we can get an idea of where we want to be in 10 years and what we want to accomplish. I feel doing this before we build a new budget is important. Because then we know what we are not willing to give up. I know I am not willing to give up eating healthy ingredients, but I know we can find ways to save more and not spend quite as much as we have been spending on groceries. And it wouldn't hurt to eat a little less ;)
Anyway, we went through each of the points and are taking our time building a new vision for our lives in the future - one that is routed in what truly feels right for both of us.
This is big stuff and it's ok to not push myself right now. Maintaining is good. I am back to yoga tonight and tomorrow and then one on saturday so I will get 3 practices in this week which is enough to maintain along with some good, old-fashioned walks in the fresh air!