Tuesday, February 02, 2010
I would if I could, but I can’t so I don’t.
Many thanks to those of you who encouraged me to feed my craving yesterday. There are many cravings that I do feed when they come on strong…things like sushi, and Tom Yum soup, and Sum Tom salad, and pasta with marinara, and BREAD AND BUTTER even. But I’ve learned my lesson when it comes to hamburgers, especially those humongous monstrosities with double patties and double cheese and double special sauces.
See…my mind may say EAT IT, but the body tends to say BEWARE, HERE THERE BE MONSTERS!!!
Within 3 bites of that burger I would have been feeling slightly gaseous, queasy and green even. Two bites later I’d be bloating, and possibly even moaning. Then, by the time I’d reach the midway point…Oh OUCH…Off the edge of the earth we’d go, and I’d be preparing myself to writhe on the floor cursing the day I ever imagined the not so sweet bliss of eating the devilish delight of full fatted meat and LDL cholesterol!
See, over the last few years my body has decided it absolutely MUST revolt anytime the quantities of saturated (Burgerville is a trans fats free business) fats that pass my lips reach a predetermined, though not yet disclosed to my brain, level…this revolt involves gas pains that could have a grown man whimpering like a kicked dog…These gas pains I liken to the colic my newborn children experienced, not a single thing except time, and the emptying of that one teeny section of intestine in the upper left quadrant of my oh so distended belly, can relieve. I will spend hours contorting myself over the sides of chairs, laying on the floor with one arm stretched out above my head and one knee pressed as tightly to my body as is possible, twisting and turning in all directions, back bends over the arms of couches, and leaning with one hand reaching to the floor like a half hearted cartwheel...They've all been tried, they've all failed miserably at relief.
So…this is why I blog about what in my mind may be ambrosia, and that I know I’ll never again break down and eat…at least until next time the brain over rides the belly.