What am I thinking,,,, oh yeah I can do this its on my bucket list
Tuesday, February 02, 2010
Everyone has that bucket list, the things they want to do before they reach a certain time, age, etc etc,, well for me its a fitness compeition and yes I am 42 which by the way is no different than 29,lol. I have trained so hard for a year now keeping my weight off, making new friends, keeping active and living a lifestyle that surrounds our family with health. Doing a fitness competition is really hard work, the prep diet is really hard, the 2 hours of cardio and of course knowing my efforts will be showing in a one piece suit that looks like dental floss in the back end and I am usually conservative and have stage anxiety, but I must do this for me. I tell my trainer all the time IT MATTERS TO ME, there is no prize for a Volvo or money involved its just really knowing I had a goal, and that once I reach my goal I move on to the next phase of my life, personal trainer who stands behind her convictions. I feel stronger than I ever did, I see myself change daily in muscles or skin tone and its exciting. I am trying to visualize myself not peeing on the floor on a stage, as nerves settle in,, and that just makes me laugh, I actually think I could proudly strut my feathers and giggle a lot on stage that is what will likely happen. I have over came the scale thing, numbers don't mean a thing, pant size and zippers do- and so does knowing I can run a 5k in less than a half an hour- and 6 miles feels like 3. Seeing myself dedicated to a cardio piece of equipment, and making the gym a habit even though its a hour away one way,, and making food choices that are much better when I am in what they call the off season, is just a lifestyle now. I try and tell everyone I know about sparkpeople but they dont respond or get scared of it. I try and make a difference to my friends who need a little extra motivation, and to myself for sharing my clean eating diet with others. MY trainer is just an incredible guy who lives the walk each day, and my other trainer who has become a friend and a role model I love her!! So each day as I get out of bed and cringe a little I envision myself going strong and doing this BUCKET LIST that I have created for myself. I may not win, or place but IT MATTERS TO ME.