Sunday, January 31, 2010
I saw a movie last night on Lifetime it was called "Lying To Be Perfect" and it really spoke to me. It was about 3 ladies who were over weight and they took a Cinderella Pact together to lose weight.
Why is it I have a hard time with my own self image. I think I have to be perfect to have someone care for me.
One of these ladies was hiding her talent, and afraid to be herself. So she ate to deal with her insecurities. What is it that we seem to have figured out that eating can stop us from being who we are. It is a protective mechanism of sorts. At least we think it is. But I know I was really just hurting myself by eating uncontrollably. It did not solve the inner problem or issue I was afraid to deal with.
The movie showed 3 ladies with 3 reasons or bad habits to deal with there lives and what they were afraid to confront. Somehow eating just made things worse, and you still do not deal with the problem.
This was not something I did not know or was aware of but it was good that they used woman that were over weight to do this movie. Plus they all did confront there issues. One I did not agree with but again it is a personal decision. What I am referring to is that one lady had the lap band surgery to help her. That I know is not for me. But I have a cousin and she is losing weight this way. While I am doing the Spark way. We both are having the same results too.
I could see myself in these ladies. I know fear is one of the reason it was easier for me to deal with life. I do not want to get hurt again. So I hide behind food. I am learning that I was trying to kill myself because of no self worth. Thank God I have awaken to what I was doing and hopefully I will be able to deal with this new me with courage and strength.