What I did right today- Day 97
Thursday, January 21, 2010
-went running again. Everything felt great today- I think I'm running at a slightly faster pace than I used to, for reasons unknown to me.
-stayed in my calorie limits (just barely.) Mom, you're just plain not allowed to make schnitzel with homemade noodles anymore.
Other than that, I've been feeling pretty low today. The current political situation has me down and feeling hopeless. Add that to all the news from Haiti, to people sniping at each other even on Facebook, to my brother being increasingly politically radical to the point where we can't seem to have any conversation about politics without arguing, when before we'd never had a fight in our lives...I don't know. I also thought about my relationship that just ended last year- something on the radio brought it back kind of sharply and I was alternating between enraged and heartbroken for a lot of the day.
The buzz of good feeling that carried me through the holidays after I decided to stay in State College another year is fading, and it's being replaced with anxiety about what I'm going to do with myself. I make barely $600 a month at the moment, and I haven't wound up being able to save much of that. I'm not good at budgeting, and I've been trying to pay down some debts. I have to figure out how to get ahead financially- I can't go full time at my current job because there isn't enough work. I can't find another part time job that wouldn't make me want to tear my eyes out (I'm picky, but it's because I know what makes me miserable, and it's constant contact with strangers). I don't want to quit a job I really like to take a chance on a full time job that might suck, and then not have the part time gig to go back to. And I still don't know what to do when I grow up. Please ignore the fact that I'll be 27 years old in a couple of weeks...