Tuesday, January 19, 2010
Why does this always happen? I am going along and eating good and "life" happens and i end up going off and messing up. Not for one meal, one day or one week but until I feel like getting back on.
I feel like such a failure right now. I am sitting here with a stomach ache from all the chocolate that I have eaten today. Last night I woke up with a stomach ache and thought I was going to throw up, probably from the cookies and girl scout cookies that I ate for dinner.
I have been eating out almost every meal this weekend and definitely not making good choices. Macaroni grill pasta and bread, Popeyes chicken, cheese cake....why am i doing this to myself. Why can't I understand that I can not eat this food.
It is like drugs to a drug addict. Once I start I can not stop. Once I give in and Cheat or fall off the wagon I can not get back on the wagon of eating right. I need to "detox" once and for all and not allow myself to cheat. It maybe hard and I may be a B!@$& during that time.....but in order to get where I want and to feel good about myself I need to do it! I need to attend "AA" in the form of exercise everyday and make sure I am living the life I want to lead....Strong and healthy not fat and with a stomach ache all the time from the nasty foods that I am putting in my body.
I need a "sponsor" (someone who has been there done it, recovered and living and eating healthy) anyone out there willing to be it?