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    EVER-HOPEFUL   130,717
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other peoples preconceptions of us and our own conceptions.

Monday, January 18, 2010

when i was writing my status this morning i didnīt think it would start me thinking about myself and the past and about something a goodfriend of me once said to me.

first to the thing my friend once said to me over her false preconceptions she had carried around with her for nearly two years when we first met.one day when i was 26 my nephew and nieces came to visit and i was playing with them on the village green.my niece wanted to get in the local gym team so i was teaching her and showing her a few things.cart wheels,handstand,backflips and the splits(yes at 26 and weighing 282lbs i could still do the splits.)my friend lisa was looking out of her kitchen window and couldnīt believe her eyes what she saw.that night when we were out on a girls night out she brought up the subject and appologised to me.i said what for.she said for misjudgeing me and just seeing my weight and not what is behind it.she had only been my friend for just under 2 years so didnīt know anything of how sporty and everything i used to be and had just assumed i didnīt do any kind of sport because of my size.we both found out that night how much we both love dancing but have never asked the other to go dancing, she because she thought i couldnīt and i havenīt asked her because i thought she had no interest.so infact we had both misjudged one another.after the night we started going regularly to a disco(this was before i became muslim)i find it is also true that lot of people would see big people and just assume they are lasy etc,etc when most would probably be fitter than alot of thin people i know.

anyway onto my own conceptions.here was i being pleased that there was only two of the exerises on the billy banks ab boot camp that i couldnīt do propably(the one when you lie on your back and lift your feet a bit off the floor and then take it in turns cycling your legs by bringing your knee to your stomach and alternating legs making sure your heels donīt touch the floor)i have forgotten the other one because the exercise i mentioned bothered me so much that i couldnīt do it.then i thought of what my friend had said and then thought back to when i was younger and when sport had been the be all and end all.you wouldnīt believe it to see me now.

i was captain of the school gymnastic,football and hockey team.i did the long jump and high jump not only for the school,but for the county and for north wales when i was younger.i was a member of a running team and in a dancing troup for years where we won lots of medals and championships.we even won the championship 4 times for u.k and one time the european champion ships.when i was older and living in london i was even in a womens hockey team.and here i am now years later no longer able to do the splits and being over the moon at nearly finishing an exercise video that years ago i would have done as part of my warm up or cool down from the actual exercise.

where has the years gone ?where has that girl gone?more importantly will she ever come back?stayed tuned to get the answer to the last question but i can tell you this for a statement of fact i will manage to finish that video the whole way through and i will do my best to be able to do it by the end of this month.woo.hoo.
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JOURNEY2PEACE 1/24/2010 4:42PM

    One thing that I read on SP that helped me so much....

Forget about who you once were. And be who you are today.

When I came back to SP in February of 2009, I spent atleast 8-9 months beating myself up because I let myself go. I had started SP in July of 2007 and quit/deleted my account in February 2008. In the year off, I let myself go and gained back the 54 pounds I had lost. This and the memory of me being athletic just as you were in my younger years had me bingeing on almost a nightly basis (2008-2009).

I read the comment that changed my outlook last month. "Let go of who you once were. "

The truth is, the person I am today is much healthier mentally so I know when I start living up to today's ambitions, I will achieve them because mentally I am ready.

I haven't blogged about this yet, but I am seriously considering becoming a fitness instructor or personal trainer with a side interest in nutrition. What better way to stay accountable, and spread the spark? I too love to dance. I find aerobics like videos to be so entertaining as well as benefiting. And I love to ride my bike as well (although I still can't physically) I figure I would really enjoy dancing daily while motivating others to find their inner spark. If I get bored, I could teach a spinning class, a zumba class, yoga....and it would be a great way for me to round out my fitness needs as well.
This is something that the old thin Jen would never have considered. But this is who I am today. I am a Sparker and I want to stay one for life. :)

Accept the things you can not change tootse, and change the things you can. :) I am here if you need me.

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Comment edited on: 1/24/2010 4:42:57 PM

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-WRKNG2ABTTRME- 1/19/2010 11:18AM

    Definitely something to think about. Thank you for bringing it to my attention.

Hang in there...you'll get there! emoticon

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JEAN524 1/18/2010 6:48PM

    I found it very uncomfortable doing some of the exercises on the floor because we have wood floors so I've done them on the bed which I think works as well and isn't so uncomfortable. With the jump start boot camp I can't jump with both feet because it hurts my foot, but that doesn't stop me having a good work out by adapting. One day I'll get there entirely, but in the meantime, it's just important to join in. emoticon emoticon Jean

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DANNIELLEFIT 1/18/2010 4:18PM

    Keep up the great attitude as that girl is sure to come out before you know it!

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JCARDINAL 1/18/2010 3:23PM

    Good Luck and great attitude!!

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SOHBETOCEAN 1/18/2010 9:25AM

    Woo hoo! Masha Allah, where's that girl? She's alive and kickin and moving around like nobody's business!!! Keep up the great work!!! Ma shaa Allah, every month is your month!!!

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