Friday, January 15, 2010
So here i am today. It has been a rough couple of days. I missed a workout and have not been eating any better than before. I did start reading the spark and i am really starting to feel like i can do this.
It kind of makes me sad a little bit as I read the book I realize a few things. 1) I am not so sure of what my ah-ha moment is. Do I really have that one thing that really drives me to do this? And if I don't is it still possible? Can I do this on my own?
I know I have the support of the spark website but is it truly enough for me?
I sat down and was trying to figure out what my goals would be as per chapter 2, and they just seemed kind of superficial to me. Things like i want to lose weight so that i can be truly happy and maybe find the love of my life(tried once but that didnt work well). But then i have parts in there too that i want to be healthier so that i can do things with my kids. I want to be able to run and play with them and not be tired after 2 minutes.
I look at some of the people in my life and they kind of drive me nuts with all the Oh I'm so fat and i need to lose weight and they are all of 130 or 150lbs and here i am weighing in at 205 and really feeling like a whale and they have the nerve to tell me I I'm not fat didn't they just say the were and how much lighter than me.
Ok so I know this is all over the place and kind of whinny but i think i needed to vent and maybe have someone hear this and not judge me.
I really want to make my life better not just for myself but for my kids as well but i need help.
WILL YOU HELP ME?
CAN YOU HELP ME ?
WHERE DO I START?
Just a few of my thought today