A trip down memory lane and learning from the past!
Thursday, January 14, 2010
I think that until I learned from some lessons in my life, I had to repeat them over and over again. I've decided to smarten up, grow 'a set' (or blow the dust off of the ones I USED to have), let go of my need to be POLITE, and speak my mind! This is something that I decided to work on this year. And just in time, because the SPAWN (AKA my SIL) is coming for a visit in 11 weeks. My initial feeling was DREAD when I heard of her visit, because of all the 'joyful' (yes, sarcasm) past trips. When you put her and my MIL together, it's like the scene in Jurassic Park with the 2 Raptors as they join forces and attack. My SIL is different than my MIL in her approach, as she puts her thoughts and words in other people's mouths. When I think of her, I go for a walk down memory lane, and it's NOT a pleasant stroll!
I went to the beach with her ONCE, a few years back. I was in my bathing suit, on my back, on the blanket, as she sat up. She told me that 'people were pointing and staring at me'. Since I was on my back, I didn't see it, so WHY did she have to tell me this??? When I questioned her about 'why would people point and stare', she replied 'that it's out of fear, because they don't want to look like you'. I laid there feeling SO vulnerable and exposed, frozen in place, unable to move or even speak. With all of the dignity I could pull from my size 22, plus-sized body, I stood up, got dressed, and left. I cried the entire way home, wondering WHY she told me this!
There have been years of comments like that, and the ironic thing is - that she was a size 22 until about 7 years ago. Another judgemental former-chunker! Anyone on here that knows me, is aware that I had hair loss due to a whacked out thyroid. Since I used to be a hairdresser, many moons ago, I know a thing or two about hair. Approaching it with the 'when you have lemons, make lemonade' attitude, I cut my hair into a medium length tousled style, which was a longer version of my profile pic. It kind of hid my hair loss, and I thought that it looked cute. I did the best I could with what I had! When she came for a visit, she commented on my hair by saying how 'her boyfriend says that's how all middle-aged, overweight women wear their hair'. At first I was speechless, but then I said 'thanks a lot'! Her reply was 'oh, that's what HE SAYS'. Well, he wasn't there, had no idea how my hair looked, and hadn't seen me in years. Once again - WHY?
After going out to dinner with the toxic-twosome (MIL & SIL) and my MIL's companion, my SIL told me that my MIL said that 'I should be a professional makeup artist, because it's AMAZING what I can do to myself with makeup'. She then said 'can you believe she said that'? I replied "I can't believe that IF she said it, that YOU would repeat it to me"! Her comeback was 'well, I'm JUST telling you what she said.' And the purpose is - what???
My DH and I have very little to do with her, and are glad that she lives FAR away. She is going to turn 50 this year, but dresses like a 20 year old hootchie momma! Sorry, but seeing your butt-crack and muffin-top are NOT attractive! I used to think that she had the BIGGEST ego that I've EVER seen. She had plastic surgery a couple of years ago and had her boobs done. But instead of getting a 'normal' size implant, they had to special order her implants because they are 960 cc's each - about 32 oz. From what I've heard average is in the 300 cc range. No kidding - they are BIGGER than her head! When she was here, she would point out all of the men looking at her, as my DH and I rolled our eyes. She told me 'that I'm lucky that I live in Florida and DON'T have the desire to be PERFECT'!!! Maybe ALL of that silicone was going to her head, or all of that Botox she gets did more than numb her frozen forehead. She refers to herself as 'SMOKIN' HOT' - who in the world calls THEMSELVES THAT? I do think that she is an attractive woman when she fixes her hair and makeup, BUT, she wouldn't be SMOKIN' HOT unless I set her @ss on fire!
It took awhile, but I now think that she has a false-ego. She puts people down in an attempt to make herself feel better. How pathetic! She wears skin tight, revealing clothing to show off her after- market equipment - for attention. I think that it's kind of sad. In the past, she would split her visit between her mother's house and ours. But after the last few times, my DH and I had enough of the conflict and drama that she creates. We both agreed that she will NOT be invited to stay with us - NOT even for 1 day! Let her stay with her mother, and the 2 Raptors can attack each other - I'm OUT of the equation!
I'm sure that we'll see her a couple of times while she's here - family obligation, and all that crap! But the silicone shrew is in for a BIG surprise!!!! That BS will NO longer fly with me - I'll stick my size 10 foot (with a nice POINTY heel) SO far up her keister - her tonsils will rattle!!! I've learned from the past, and I will NOT repeat MY past behavior of telling her that she hurt my feelings, in a POLITE way - it doesn't work with Raptors! I'm respecting myself, finding my voice, and NO longer tolerating rude comments from Botoxed, silicone-enhanced shrews, or ANYONE else! I deserve better!!!
Member Comments About This Blog Post
WOO HOO!! Can you video tape her next visit and put it up for us to see?? I would love to her her botox plastic expression when she sees the SMOKIN' HOT MOMMA you have become!!
GOOD FOR YOU!!
2515 days ago
Way to go Doreen! Do you really have to see her at all? Why can't you hubby just go see her himself. If she asks him why you didn't come to see her he can then tell her the truth. Why on earth would someone want to make their boobs so big anyways?! She's desperate for attention it seems to me. If you have to see her don't put up with her crap!!
2515 days ago
Wow! The new Doreen rocks! She sounds like she needs to put people down to make her feel better about herself. She may have lost the weight but it seems she is still carrying around the pain that other people injected on her when she was overweight. I know the new Doreen is not going to put up with that.
2515 days ago
Meowmama would probably scratch her eyes out.
Damn, Doreen, why don't you leave town when she comes to town, or at least pretend you're out of town... Wouldn't it be worth parking the car 3 blocks away for a few days?
2515 days ago
Speaking as a busty G cup gal - why in the 7 hells of niffelhelm would you WANT to get fake boobs that size?
Unless you are working as a stripper / pole dancer for the tips, or in a porn movie I can't see actually wanting them that size.
hmmm - maybe ask her what porn movies she has done recently?
2515 days ago
Feel better? lol...you wore me out! You are so funny and descriptive ...haaaaaaaaaaaaa...i'm still laughing over here. I know just the type!!! My word!!! With all that negativity and cut downs.. it's a wonder you could even look yourself in the mirror without crying. That negative crap stays with ya' , too. It' always seems to be a "floater" somewhere in the back of your brain.
I am sooo sorry they treat you so badly. I'm glad you're making a stand for yourself. But be classy about it...be classy...even if you CAN't be nice...lol...like wear your size 10 red sequined stillettos..haaaaa. And you are 100 % right about her saying stuff because she has to make herself feel superior. I have an idea.... I know..let's double team her!!! While we're still fat and can sit on muffin head. Ohhhh...I'm sorry ...not very "christian" of me... :( I'll pray for her...yeah...I'll pray for her. I'd say that you must be a HUGE threat to them in some way...or they wouldn't try to put you down so much. A huge threat..and that's THEIR problem not yours. I'm glad you are making strong decisions to not take that crap anymore!!! Good for you! Nobody should have to put up with that!!!
The strong, healthy, fit, fabulous classy you will outshine the darkest dreariest....blow up doll...which is what it sounds like she's working toward..(SIL)... haahha Forgive her and bless her Lord...and help me to remember that all that outside masquerading is a real indication of something pretty sad going on ...on the inside of that SIL.
Hang in there...it only gets better!
2516 days ago
I am just floored at what some people will say!!! I know you are plenty capable of holding your own these days--go to it!!
2516 days ago
Doreen is the T-Rex:
couldn't find the english clip, ugh.
By the way Dorreen... I want to thank you for the visual of the SIL, ugh, talk about weapons of mass destruction when she runs... (I'm turning my head sharply to the right and shuddering) lol
Seriously though, I'm happy that you've found your place. Hopefully, those who either intentionally or unintentionally hurt others will find their place too.
2516 days ago
My question would be why do you have to see her at all? I mean 'family obligation' to women whose main objective in life it to make you miserable? No thank you! I'd *possibly* meet for dinner, in public, so that if something is said you can implement our "plan B"...stand up, drop money on the table, say "it's been real" and leave. You hit the nail on the head when you said she puts you down to make herself feel better. I thought that was something people said to others to make them feel better but when you look at the life the people are living then it becomes quite obvious! I remember size 22...can't wait to get there and if someone pointed and laughed at me, I'd chase them around saying 'run minions!! You don't want to catch 'the fat!!'" Like it's some kind of disease or something. I hope you shine up your set with a polishing gleam and fire back at that woman with everything in you.
And yes, men WERE pointing and staring at her because they were probably daring each other to see who had the nuts to go motorboat her! Women who are desperate make punk @ss moves like making their boobs bigger than their own head. If she says anything to you, I wouldn't say anything...I'd sit there looking at her puzzled. When she says "didn't you hear me?" I'd snap out of it and say "oh, I'm sorry I was thinking about how a few people behind you were looking at you like you had 3 heads and then I realized from their perspective, you do!" "So when you went to the surgeon did you show him pictures of muskmelons, honeydews or watermelons and say "I want those!"" Throw an ice cube down her cleavage and say "look I found Silicone Valley!"
Sorry...as you were.
2516 days ago
Good for you!! I just love seeing people come out of their polite or "PC" mode and speaking their mind to mindless, insensitive people. I feel so very lucky that I have one fabulous SIL and my MIL ( passed away ) thought I was the best thing since sliced bread. I still miss her after 15 year.
2516 days ago
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