Passing a mirror hurts.

Sunday, January 10, 2010

Have you ever passed in front of a mirror, only to stop and take a long look at yourself, and then broken into tears because of the size of the strange person staring back at you. How often have you looked at your reflection wanted to shout, "That's not me. I just can't be that person." Well, my dear, " THAT IS YOU."

My 'SIZE PROBLEM," hit rock bottom a few years ago when I was in my livingroom and passed in front of a large wall mirror. I had just gotten off the couch when I noticed a large object reflected in the mirror, and it was me. I began to cry. Where had this , dare I say it " fat " person come from. I had been a size 8, 125 pound woman just years before. How had 70 pounds crept up on me in a matter of 10 years. Well, I used all the excuses too. I was becoming middle age, I was starting my change years , my life was busy so fast food was the only thing I had time for..bla bla bla.. You can talk yourself to deaf with all the excuses. The point is, after I looked at myself, I looked at my family and for the very first time I realized we were all FAT.

As a mother what was I doing to my boys. As a wife why was I not bugging my husband about his ever bulging waist line, and as a person , what the heck was I doing to myself? It was at that point I took charge of my life and within a year and a half had lost almost 40 pounds. I could walk 3 km without getting tired and tie my shoes without loosing my breath. In total my family lost over 100 pounds .My family too were looking better and we were in general healthier and happier.

So what happened? My youngest son kept off the weight and looks great. My oldest , my husband and myself all went back up to our large bulky sizes. One reason was that after an injury I sustained, I was no longer able to do exercises. I guess my family was able to use the excuse that since I was not pushing the good eating and healthy lifestyle that we could all slip. Well slip we did.

I started to think " to heck with it why bother," then a few weeks ago, I passed in front of my mirror and realized I was reliving THE MIRROR day all over again.

I know that it does not matter what anyone else sees, its what I see that matters, and what I see is that the size 10, very proud , very happy person is still there . She just needs a little kick in the butt to wake up. I still have to live with my arm injury and will have to learn how to exercise with it, but no more excuses . I know I can do it, and I know I have to do it. For myself and for my family. I WILL stand in front of that mirror and say, " Well there you are. I knew I would find you."

So , next time you stand in front of a mirror and say ," I know I am there inside, this is not me." Remember YES it is you. NO EXCUSES . If you are not happy about what is reflected back, then what are YOU going to do about it.?

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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    OMG, you brought tears to my eyes Laura. What a moving story about weight gain and how it can affect a person. I'm so proud of you for keeping on this journey and you know what, I met you today, and YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL inside and out.
    2272 days ago
    Those Aha moments stick with you. Be sure to write this into the Ottawa "self talk" thread for postive self talk.

    For me I was reading a blog by a woman who had come across one of my blogs saying how much I love the outdoors. She had a picture of her hiking on her spark page. A large woman. About my size. And she said "this was me at my top weight - unsafe". Unsafe? I felt this lump in my throat. Unsafe! I had been in so much denial. Every hike and canoe trip putting my family at risk. I was at higher risk of an injury because of my size and bad knees, and if I ever fell or hurt myself how would they ever have gotten me out of the wilderness? She is now one of my heros. In five years she has gotten to her goal weight. I know you can do it too! We both can.
    2866 days ago
    Great blog and so inspiring!
    And you are so right!
    I also realized that loosing weight, it's must be a family affair. If I eat well, my family eat well - I am the one bying the groceries and preparing the meals. So for the past 4 months, as a family, we are eating better and losing weight.


    2866 days ago
    I, too, gained tons of weight. When I married at age 21, I weighed a whopping 98 lbs. Yes, that wasn't enuf, but my metabolism was such that I could eat and eat and eat whatever and however much I wanted, and never gain a pound. BAD habits. I added a few lbs in a few months, but looked and felt good. Then I became pg the 1st time and it's like I never looked back. 40 yrs and 3 kids later, I finally realized I was almost 180 lbs and miserable. I hated the way I look and felt, and knew that the added fat were exasperating some health problems, soooooo, I got ahold of myself, was steered to SP and I'm working on being healthier. I've lost a total of almost 25 lbs, most of it on SP, and am wearing a size smaller pants now. Proud of myself. : ) This is just the beginning. I have lbs more to go, and I WILL.

    I used to say, I still weigh 98 lbs, but I'm protecting it better. tsk-tsk. emoticon
    2866 days ago
    Well, my little girl - you should be proud of yourself. You have seen with both eyes wide open. I will always see the most beautiful darling daughter in the whole world - no matter what -but I will also be so very very happy to have a healthy and vigorous daughter too. KEEP UP THE GOOD WORK
    Love Mom emoticon
    2866 days ago
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