A Person's Perception about Self

Saturday, January 09, 2010

I was surprised by the response I got from some dear friends to my January 2010, so I'd to clear up some things because I obviously miscommunicated! Sorry about that!

Goals need to be specific and achievable. So, I'd like to lose 25-30 pounds by summer, and my sister's wedding in July is a convenient milestone on the calendar by which I can achieve this. If she weren't getting married, I'd choose some arbitrary day and adjust my goals accordingly.

Motivation and inspiration don't hurt, and the wedding gives me an additional bit of motivation that was unclear in my blog. My sis is getting married on the beach. Literally, on the beach. We're all going to be there swimming, in our bathing suits, and a minister is going to walk over and marry them right there, as a surprise to the groom's family. I will have no choice about what to wear; it *must* be beachwear!

Also, when I alluded to my being the "fat sister," I need to explain why I said that! My sister lives in an affluent area of the south, where the wives don't work and are in extraordinary shape. I'll be seen as "the fat sister" by anyone shallow or mean enough to label me. That's not self-criticism; that's simple fact. I've been labeled that way all our lives, even when I weighed 50 pounds less than I do now. When I'm not taking care of myself, it's a lot harder to ignore such neanderthal and ignorant attitudes. They are other people's attitudes, not mine. My sister and I are both beautiful in unique ways.

If I were wearing a dress at the wedding instead of a bathing suit, I'd go shopping and find a gorgeous dress that shows off my body as well as possible, and nobody would bat an eye about my doing that. And I'd *still* try to lose some weight before I bought that dress -- not because I think less of myself, but because I've put on 15 pounds in the last couple of months due to weather and stress, and it's not healthy.

Instead of writing I don't want to feel self-conscious and "fat" on my sister's wedding day, I really should have written that I want to "feel and look my best" in order to communicate better. That means means I love myself enough to want to be healthier than I am today, and a July wedding happens to be a convenient goal to work towards.

So don't worry about me. I love myself (and you, too).

Share This Post With Others
Member Comments About This Blog Post
  • BARB0927
    Kudos to you for re-defining your motivation and goals so positively. It's never easy to be judged solely by appearance and bathing suits can be most unforgiving. It's an interesting (and unusual) way to celebrate a wedding but I'm a beach bum at heart and love the idea! I own more bathing suits than anyone needs (15 at last count!) and love the little sari's or sarongs that coordinate with the suit~I wear one over my suit and it looks so stylish as opposed to a cover-up (and you can swim in most of them!) I know you will achieve your goals because you have to be the most consistent and dedicated person I have ever known! I always admire those qualities in you (along with your uber organizational skills)
    2966 days ago
  • TLAIR0468
    One of the tips on the spark a day calendar was "Say no to negative goals. If your goals say don't, never or stop, reword them. Focus on what you CAN do (like eat 3 fruits daily), not what you CAN'T do (eat sweets). You'll be more motivated and successful." It sounds like that is just what you did. You are right, you are beautiful (and not just in your own way). I understand what you mean about others perceptions and I am glad to know it's theirs and not yours.

    I know you are going to be successful! I KNOW it!! I'll be right here cheering you on the whole way!!

    2967 days ago
    Great self analysis.
    Great attitude.
    Great plan.
    You WILL reach your goals whatever the reason whatever the season.
    You go, girl!

    2967 days ago
  • Add Your Comment to the Blog Post

    Log in to post a comment

    Disclaimer: Weight loss results will vary from person to person. No individual result should be seen as a typical result of following the SparkPeople program.