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    ETTEZEUS   148,149
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Finally! I know what I want!!

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Monday, January 04, 2010

Nope, I'm not telling you what I want just yet! First, you have to hear my story. I finally get to tell it because I think the time is right! So, grab a cup of coffee cause it's gonna be a long one....

While I was grocery shopping yesterday (and thinking how much I hate grocery shopping), I happened down an aisle that was deserted except for me and another girl. She was young, I'd say around early to mid 20s. She was also overweight, not obese but close. I watched her for a few minutes. She was reading the nutrition on the back of a box. I started smiling, thinking about where I was 16 months ago and how I did (and still do) the same thing she was doing. It was at that point she turned and seen me. She gave me *the body scan* from head to toe, put the box down and QUICKLY left the aisle. I was a little stunned at first and I wanted to tell her "Hey, I know what you're going through and I just want to tell you that I've been where you are" but I didn't. I held back.

Why would she listen to someone like me??? Who was I?

Then this morning when I checked my email, I had lots of notifications saying so and so left a comment on my SparkPage. WOW! Tons of people I didn't know were visiting MY SparkPage....

Ok....but Why? I go look and to my surprise, I'm Motivator of the Day! I'm reading all these comments congratulating me, telling me I'm an inspriation, asking me how I did it, and so on.

So, for some strange reason, I started thinking about the girl in the grocery store.

Ut oh, if I'm going to get deep in thought, then I better put on my running shoes!

OH YEAH BABY! First Reflection Run of the year....here it comes. And it's a winner!!

I started thinking about the girl in the grocery store. I was exactly like her in October 2008! (Ok so not exactly since I was twice her age but you get the general picture.) I was overweight and trying to learn about nutrition so I was reading labels. If I seen someone skinny (notice I said skinny, not fit and healthy, since skinny was all I wanted to be) looking at me while I was reading, I immediately put the box away and ran as fast as I could! I couldn't bear the thought of what they were thinking about me! (I do have another blog on this topic too, Do I care what people think of me.)

I would project what they were thinking about me such as, "Look at the fat chick who is going to try and lose weight again probably for the 100th time....Bet she fails again!" And I picture them laughing at me.I would think that because that is EXACTLY what had happened to me time and time again in the past. Diet...fail, diet....fail, diet...fail and on it went for years and years.

But then something wonderful happened to me! I found SparkPeople! I learned about food tracking and nutrition. I joined teams and made some wonderful friends. I read many, many articles and learned lots. And when I was having a bad day, or I went on a binge, or I felt like giving up, I would come to my Spark friends and tell them what was going on, tell them how I gorged myself and then cried myself to sleep because I was on the road to failing again.

But guess what?.....Instead of hearing what I expected, "give up, quit, why bother" I was given encouragement and LOTS of it! I would then go in search of other SparkPages and read wonderful stories of inspiration. And I would get motivated again and move forward. Many times I was on the 2 steps forward, 1 step back routine....but I kept putting one foot in front of the other.

Then, in Feb of 2009 I started running to progress my weight loss. I joined my now beloved Rookie Running team! THAT TEAM is one of the major reasons I am where I am today! The friends I've made there kept me going.

They were always there when I needed the push. They helped me through the rough runs from the 5ks to the half marathon! And let me tell you, during my half marathon training, there were some really rough runs! Oh boy, do I remember well the 11 mile barrier!! Three times I tried to cross it during training and 3 times I failed....Miserably! I cried and told my teammates how scared I was of failing at the half marathon. I put my fears out there for all to see! I didn't hold back, I let it all out!

What I got from them is the last thing I expected! I expected to hear the exact things I was telling myself, "Well, then just quit. If you know you can't do it, then don't. Quit, go ahead, no one will care. You've given up before, why should now be any different."

But, oh what I got was so far from what I thought I'd get!!

What I got was encouragement....from EVERYONE! Not one single person told me to quit. NOT ONE!! I got so much encouragement that I COULDN'T quit!! I DIDN'T WANT to quit!! They weren't giving up on me so why would I consider giving up on myself!

And we know how that half marathon turned out! (And if you don't know, then you'll just have to read my Space Coast Half Marathon blog....hee hee....got ya to read yet another of my blogs...LOL)

So, after all that thinking, after all the encouragement, after the half marathon, after all the wonderful comments I got for being Motivator of the Day, after my 10 mile run, after realizing that I couldn't do this alone, that it took all those encouraging people to get me where I am, it hit me!! Like a ton of bricks!

Hold on, here it comes....you are finally going to find out what I want! LOL

I WANT TO GIVE BACK TO OTHERS WHAT WAS GIVEN TO ME!!

I WANT TO BE AN INSPIRATION!!

I WANT TO BE AN ENCOURAGER!!

I WANT TO BE A MOTIVATOR!!

I WANT OTHERS TO ASK ME HOW I DID IT!

I WANT TO TELL THEM MY STORY!!

So from this day on, if I see anyone in the grocery store needing help, if I see women at the gym ready to give it up, if I see that runner on the side of the road panting, I AM going to give encouragement!! I will tell them about my own blood, sweat, and tears!

And I will cheer them on just like ALL OF YOU have done for me!

It's MY TURN to give back!!

Life IS Good!
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  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

CSOLTIS13 2/9/2010 9:47AM

    It's great how one event can inspire us to act differently the next time. I'm glad you remember being that girl, as well as seeing the girl who ran away, so that in the future you will be encouraging countless others with your story! emoticon

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TREESAPARK 2/8/2010 11:19PM

    Way to encourage us starters! I will be an inspiration to others one day as well. emoticon

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ADMETOS 2/8/2010 10:52PM

    I've been in similar situations - I see someone who I know would benefit from SP, but I am afraid to say something, because I wouldn't want them to feel insulted! I think you're right though - it is important to share and "give back." The next time I see someone like that, I will not hold back. If the person looks at me like I'm from another planet, oh well, that's a chance I'll have to take!

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KAREBEAR38 2/8/2010 10:51PM

  Thank you for writing this. I needed the encouragement to not give up. I can do this!

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JOMOMMY 2/8/2010 5:04PM

    Your blog entry was JUST what I needed to read today. Thank you, I'm inspired!

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CIRANOUSH 2/8/2010 4:35PM

    YEAH! Thanks for putting it down what SP is all about. I know I love it when people run by and shout encouragement to the SBBC team exercising at the beach. If I could, I'd give them a hug for the positive energy. Love it, love it, love it.

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SANDYF13 2/8/2010 4:00PM

  Your blog was just what I needed to hear, especially today! Thanks a bunch. I just keep thinking, I'm not dead yet, so I have to keep trying and maybe this time will be different.

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NURSEGREENEYES 2/8/2010 3:15PM

    emoticon

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KEEZIA1 2/8/2010 1:31PM

  Great blog! Good example for others! We should always encourage others to reach their goal.. emoticon

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KEEZIA1 2/8/2010 1:30PM

  That's so wonderful! We need many more people like you, willing to encourage others! Thanks

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VSVLTS3 2/8/2010 1:01PM

  Thanks that encourage me. I'm at 204 trying to get to 135. Some day, I know will!!
Vera

Comment edited on: 2/8/2010 1:02:17 PM

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FOLLOWTHEMOOSE 2/8/2010 12:44PM

    If each of us could simply choose to encourage and support just one stranger each day, imagine how much more loving and inspired the world might be... Great post!

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COOL_CHARLOTTE 2/8/2010 12:05PM

    Loved your story. Motivation is the key. Thank you for writing this and making me realize that we can be inspiring to anyone. That a little bit of encouragement can go a long way. Everyone and anyone can always use support, we do not always realize it. Keep up the hard work!!

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REMCMFA 2/8/2010 12:04PM

    Thanks for writing your blog. I go out of my way sometimes to say hi to the overweight running, trying to lose weight. :)

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CHELLE084 2/8/2010 11:19AM

  Thanks for sharing! I am just getting started with Spark and need all the encouragement I can get. Cause, yes I have tried and failed and tried and failed too many times to count.

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MIATIA1 2/8/2010 11:15AM

    I just read your story this morning. What a great way to start my day and keep me focused. Congratulations and thanks for writing, it truly helps the rest of us.
T

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SPARKY104 2/8/2010 10:46AM

  What a great Blog!!!! Just whan i,m a little discouraged its what i needed to pick myself back up and keep going!
Thanks

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BROWNEAJ 2/8/2010 10:03AM

  Thank-you for reminding me never to give up. It is easy to quit when you make a mis-step or life throws you a curve ball. But it is important to keep working towards your goal. Thanks

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LASHARINK 2/8/2010 9:23AM

    Great blog - glad you were voted motivator of the day!! I'm now reading labels too - takes a little longer to get through my grocery shopping but it's well worth it!! Keep up the good work and THANK YOU for sharing!

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MKM2409 2/8/2010 8:11AM

  What a wonderful inspiring story. Right now I am on the two steps back train, but starting over today, thanks to you.

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KISHANI 2/8/2010 5:03AM

    Great inspiration for all of us trying to get there

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MIRACLEMOM 2/7/2010 10:26PM

  Thank you! Reading this came at just the right time for me. What an inspiration you are! Bravo!!

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DONNA5281 2/7/2010 9:25PM

 
I really do like this blog, you are an inspiration to everyone. Keep up the good work.

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TWIMOM1918 2/7/2010 8:47PM

    Wow your story was amazing! I have a tear in my eye just reading. You are so positive and kind. Anyone that speaks to you and actually listens will be lucky. I my self always feel like that girl in that grocery store. Excepted I am also twice her age. You keep up the great work. You have inspired me today. Thank-you! emoticon

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PREZ97 2/7/2010 6:01PM

  Thanks for the encouragement with the weight loss journey and spreading the spark!

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SOLVAYMAE 2/7/2010 5:43PM

    awesome!! Keep being inspiring! I AM that girl in the grocery store...so i hear ya!! thanks!!!!!

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BLUESKY104 2/7/2010 4:31PM

    Thanks for being such an inspiration -- May you SPARK brightly each and every day emoticon


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LUCYJUNE7 2/7/2010 4:23PM

  WOW you are inspiring ,keep passing on the spark! blessings to ya lucyjune7

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S0122S 2/7/2010 3:20PM

    Great blog! Congratulations on working towards you goals. I'm going to do the same, and give encouragement to strangers if I think they may need it.

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NANCY1964 2/7/2010 3:05PM

    You are spot on with this. Thank you for sharing. Good luck with your excellent progress! Many, many people are with you!

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WINNIE-POOH 2/7/2010 2:55PM

    Thanks for sharing.

I have bumped into women in the store looking at clothes and looking disgusted, and I tell them about Sparks. I am not where I need to be for as long as I have been on Sparks, but I keep trying over and over.

We are our brothers keeper.
emoticon

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PHIPHI11 2/7/2010 2:34PM

  I can so identify with this! Thanks for the encouragement and sharing your story.!

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BOBSUE 2/7/2010 2:26PM

  Fantastic story...thanks so much for sharing. Encouragement is HUGE and inspiration is the FUEL to keep one going. It is difficult not to feel alone when the task before you feels so daunting. It really does help to know that there are many people out there feeling the very same way! Thank you so much for sharing!!!

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KAHNEFAN1 2/7/2010 12:41PM

    This is a great story and I know exactly what you are talking about. I am still that other person but I am hoping to be the healthy, skinny person in the store within the next year instead of the overweight obese one reading the label. There are so many success stories on Spark and they are what keep me going. Seeing that results do come and I can reach my goal. Thank you for sharing this blog!

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MOMMAGPLUS11 2/7/2010 12:35PM

  gREAT

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KATELOSS2009 2/7/2010 12:20PM

    Amen! Never be afraid to speak to "the girl in the store." You may be just the person to turn her life around!

Passing on the spark is one of the best feelings in the world!!

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SECONDCHANCE51 2/7/2010 11:36AM

    Loved the blog, got so much support and inspiration from it. Thanks much for standing by and helping those of us who are just starting our "treck to victory." Barb emoticon

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JEWITCH 2/7/2010 10:54AM

    Very inspiring.

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LISA2128 2/7/2010 10:27AM

    Wonderful blog! It brought tears to my eyes, as I am at the point of giving up...AGAIN!!!

Lisa

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FLACAPR 2/7/2010 10:07AM

    I cannot express in words how your words have touched me, to the point of tears, of sadness, relief to know that I am not alone, feeling that today I can begin a new cycle and strive to lose more weight.

Thank you for your wonderful inspiration. emoticon

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JBDIAS 2/7/2010 9:31AM

    Great blog, thank you for sharing this with all of us.

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AMICHT 2/7/2010 8:56AM

    Thank you for such a wonderful blog! I know just how you feel/felt and it was wonderful to see it in your words. I am still a long way from my goal weight and feel judged in the grocery store at times (but it DOES NOT send me running anymore). And lately, only 5 months into my life changes, I also have the incredible experience of having people tell me that I'm inspiring them. WOW! Me! An inspiration!

You are inspiring me! Thank you for sharing your experience. And keep up the great work! Your goal to keep inspiring & encouraging people is beautiful!!



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RHYNIC 2/7/2010 8:52AM

    I finally made it to this blog. i have heard so much about it...yup Suezette you are the talk of sparkpeople. lol

good job! I loved it.

gail

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MERLISH1 2/7/2010 8:30AM

  I just loved reading this, thanks a mil, has inspired me to keep on. mm

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BABYSTEPS123 2/7/2010 7:48AM

    Thank you! I too am on my way again, this time for keeps. I'm working on changing habits and lifestyle. And I want to be able to inspire others, as you have done for me! Keep up the great work (and it is work!) emoticon

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MS_URBANFLY 2/7/2010 6:04AM

    If your goal is to inspire and motivate consider that done. Your story is so touching and I can relate so well to you and the girl in the aisle beating myself up after having a few of my own diet...fail cycles. To me that's what makes it so inspirational the fact that you've had the same emotions and same negative self talk and yet you stand at the top of the mountain wearing your sweat and tears as your shield of honor in the battle of the bulge. For me I can stick to working out consistently but portion control is killer for me especially late nite. if you have any pointers to help with these issues I would greatly appreciate it. Keep motivating girl.

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AJWILL 2/7/2010 12:06AM

  Thank you! I'm on the 100th try... again. The idea of having a blog is an intriguing one. Thank you!

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K10WOLF 2/6/2010 10:13PM

    Thanks so much for sharing your motivating story! It helps me to remember we are all on a journey to good health

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FATHELP65 2/6/2010 9:44PM

  You go girl! I would definitely appreciate someone coming up to me & giving encouragement ... too often, especially in grocery stores, women are so stone-faced, closed-off looking; however, when you smile at them, so often you receive a beatific smile in return and like encouragement, this is worthwhile. Thanks for all your comments ... keep it up!

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COCOMAC7 2/6/2010 9:38PM

    Great blog!

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