Monday, January 04, 2010
Nope, I'm not telling you what I want just yet! First, you have to hear my story. I finally get to tell it because I think the time is right! So, grab a cup of coffee cause it's gonna be a long one....
While I was grocery shopping yesterday (and thinking how much I hate grocery shopping), I happened down an aisle that was deserted except for me and another girl. She was young, I'd say around early to mid 20s. She was also overweight, not obese but close. I watched her for a few minutes. She was reading the nutrition on the back of a box. I started smiling, thinking about where I was 16 months ago and how I did (and still do) the same thing she was doing. It was at that point she turned and seen me. She gave me *the body scan* from head to toe, put the box down and QUICKLY left the aisle. I was a little stunned at first and I wanted to tell her "Hey, I know what you're going through and I just want to tell you that I've been where you are" but I didn't. I held back.
Why would she listen to someone like me??? Who was I?
Then this morning when I checked my email, I had lots of notifications saying so and so left a comment on my SparkPage. WOW! Tons of people I didn't know were visiting MY SparkPage....
Ok....but Why? I go look and to my surprise, I'm Motivator of the Day! I'm reading all these comments congratulating me, telling me I'm an inspriation, asking me how I did it, and so on.
So, for some strange reason, I started thinking about the girl in the grocery store.
Ut oh, if I'm going to get deep in thought, then I better put on my running shoes!
OH YEAH BABY! First Reflection Run of the year....here it comes. And it's a winner!!
I started thinking about the girl in the grocery store. I was exactly like her in October 2008! (Ok so not exactly since I was twice her age but you get the general picture.) I was overweight and trying to learn about nutrition so I was reading labels. If I seen someone skinny (notice I said skinny, not fit and healthy, since skinny was all I wanted to be) looking at me while I was reading, I immediately put the box away and ran as fast as I could! I couldn't bear the thought of what they were thinking about me! (I do have another blog on this topic too, Do I care what people think of me.)
I would project what they were thinking about me such as, "Look at the fat chick who is going to try and lose weight again probably for the 100th time....Bet she fails again!" And I picture them laughing at me.I would think that because that is EXACTLY what had happened to me time and time again in the past. Diet...fail, diet....fail, diet...fail and on it went for years and years.
But then something wonderful happened to me! I found SparkPeople! I learned about food tracking and nutrition. I joined teams and made some wonderful friends. I read many, many articles and learned lots. And when I was having a bad day, or I went on a binge, or I felt like giving up, I would come to my Spark friends and tell them what was going on, tell them how I gorged myself and then cried myself to sleep because I was on the road to failing again.
But guess what?.....Instead of hearing what I expected, "give up, quit, why bother" I was given encouragement and LOTS of it! I would then go in search of other SparkPages and read wonderful stories of inspiration. And I would get motivated again and move forward. Many times I was on the 2 steps forward, 1 step back routine....but I kept putting one foot in front of the other.
Then, in Feb of 2009 I started running to progress my weight loss. I joined my now beloved Rookie Running team! THAT TEAM is one of the major reasons I am where I am today! The friends I've made there kept me going.
They were always there when I needed the push. They helped me through the rough runs from the 5ks to the half marathon! And let me tell you, during my half marathon training, there were some really rough runs! Oh boy, do I remember well the 11 mile barrier!! Three times I tried to cross it during training and 3 times I failed....Miserably! I cried and told my teammates how scared I was of failing at the half marathon. I put my fears out there for all to see! I didn't hold back, I let it all out!
What I got from them is the last thing I expected! I expected to hear the exact things I was telling myself, "Well, then just quit. If you know you can't do it, then don't. Quit, go ahead, no one will care. You've given up before, why should now be any different."
But, oh what I got was so far from what I thought I'd get!!
What I got was encouragement....from EVERYONE! Not one single person told me to quit. NOT ONE!! I got so much encouragement that I COULDN'T quit!! I DIDN'T WANT to quit!! They weren't giving up on me so why would I consider giving up on myself!
And we know how that half marathon turned out! (And if you don't know, then you'll just have to read my Space Coast Half Marathon blog....hee hee....got ya to read yet another of my blogs...LOL)
So, after all that thinking, after all the encouragement, after the half marathon, after all the wonderful comments I got for being Motivator of the Day, after my 10 mile run, after realizing that I couldn't do this alone, that it took all those encouraging people to get me where I am, it hit me!! Like a ton of bricks!
Hold on, here it comes....you are finally going to find out what I want! LOL
I WANT TO GIVE BACK TO OTHERS WHAT WAS GIVEN TO ME!!
I WANT TO BE AN INSPIRATION!!
I WANT TO BE AN ENCOURAGER!!
I WANT TO BE A MOTIVATOR!!
I WANT OTHERS TO ASK ME HOW I DID IT!
I WANT TO TELL THEM MY STORY!!
So from this day on, if I see anyone in the grocery store needing help, if I see women at the gym ready to give it up, if I see that runner on the side of the road panting, I AM going to give encouragement!! I will tell them about my own blood, sweat, and tears!
And I will cheer them on just like ALL OF YOU have done for me!
It's MY TURN to give back!!
Life IS Good!