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It's gong to happen.....


Friday, January 01, 2010

when I least expect it.Since Paul left to watch Michael deploy OK-its beginning now but Ill continue,John just isn't acting right.About 430pm,he became anxious,eyes as wide as soup plates,but still got my John up.Because I had Family over and I know John can't tolerate a bunch of over stimulation so I just had the nurse give John a bed bath.By 9pm she called me downstairs and John started twiching, so she gave him just 2mg valium thru the tube.By 10pm,the twitching spread to his face so we had to give John a shot.This morning at 12:15 the left arm began to twitch so I gave the 2 mg and am sitting here with John---so far so good,but like other times It can change in a heartbeat.John is so complex neurologically that it could be anything-UTI-low/high dilntin level-low magnesium level,pneumonia not cleared. I don't know!!!!!!!! I do know I love him and I wish-OK now its really started-the crying- if I could just go back.....Oh I know better,its just me. I love my John

So now at 12 midnight my Michael departs to fight for freedom for our Country. I know theres differences of opinions of why were fighting-oil.religion-I know all that but I do know my child will put himslf in harm's way to protect us and others in our World.--Crap I can't see,I don't want him to go,and now the Star spangled banner is playing (hockey) on TV so these freaken tears are really heartfelt--phew song is over

May everyone have a safe,happy healthy New Year-Ive been blessed to have made such good people thri Spark.Everyone take care and do something good for yourself today-Im going to pay bills!!!!hugs to all-Kathleen
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BORTEI 1/1/2010 2:24PM

    My Dearest Kathleen,

I know how much you love your beloved John and if you could you would change the clock back. I have no idea how you deal with it all the worry and upset. I do know though you have so much inner strength and that is a God send for you and for John. Tears are o.k. really you need a release sometimes.

It must be so hard to see Michael leave and know he has gone to serve his country. I know you must be proud of that but also so worried, only natural. You just have too much to deal with.

I wish I could be there for you I truly do but I hope you know I am here for you always.

Let the tears flow. Despite it all you are not Super Woman! You are though a wonderful, amazing, strong and loving mother. Your boys are so very lucky to have you as their mother........

emoticon / Love You xx

Comment edited on: 1/1/2010 2:26:31 PM

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