so i started being vegan again - the monday after xmas. finished day 2 & it's been pretty easy for me. but - i haven't been eating totally healthy - too much junk food & sugar! i'm working on it. i have been having lots of fruits & veggies.

i'm torn about what to do about new years. we usually have fondue with tempura shrimp & beer cheese. i kinda have it in my head that it's a holiday and so we can decide to eat unhealthy. i mean - i know we can always decide to eat unhealthy - but i'm deciding that it is ok for me to eat nonvegan b/c it is a holiday. i guess that is stupid. how much would it throw me off to have a nonvegan meal? jan 1 is supposed to start our super health detox anyways. i dunno - am i just making excuses? maybe this mentality is the reason i am fat to begin with. i want to eat it - and i'm torn between "just do it" and "you can't always get what you want". would i enjoy new years eve more with the cheese & shrimp fondue? honestly, i think so. how sad is that. it's just a tradition and we do it every year. i could just start a new tradition - or just alter this tradition.

i am thankful that this is one of my biggest concerns right now. i know how lucky i am that i have a job, and food on the table, and a home to keep me warm. a lot of people don't have that - so i am trying to remember how lucky i am. doesn't make my issue unimportant - but i need to keep things in perspective.

my steps have been awful, too. still using my fitbit & i really do love it. but i hate how lazy/inactive i am. i was watching hockey & stuff with friends last night and they did so good and were doing wii-fit steps for 30-60 minutes. i could have done that, but i just sat on my butt and ate while watching tv. sigh. plans to go to the gym saturday with my sister, so that is good!