Feeling kinda blue...and sore!

Friday, December 18, 2009

So yesterday, I was so motivated, did my exercising, had a great day, great meals, etc...This morning I woke up a bit sore, but still, I took the stairs all day long at work today (wearing 4 inch heels boots too!) and despite the soreness, I refused to even look at the elevator...I had good intentions when I got home, I wanted to exercise like I did yesterday w/ my Wii Fitness coach, but then just decided to relax...Now I feel bad for not sticking with my plan. This week was a rough week for me, mainly emotionally, and my emotions are all over the place...One day I'm happy, and the next day I'm sad and feeling lonely. I don't think that anyone can really understand how I feel right now. My favorite person in the world, my grandma, was diagnosed with advanced stomach cancer and she is declining fast...Although my closest friends and family members offer encouraging words and prayers, I don't feel like I'm being understood...I am hurting so much inside, it just saddens me beyond belief, but I am trying my best to stay strong. Talking to her soothes me and hurts me at the same time...Yesterday was a good day, today, not so much. I am just trying to stay motivated, keep my game face on...I've accompanied so many families and patients through end of life, and serious illnesses, but when it's my own family it's completely different...Nothing can prepare me effectively, nothing can make things "ok", and I feel like nothing brings peace of mind...I cannot wait to see her, but I can't bear the thought that this may possibly be a trip to say goodbye...I leave everything in God's hands...I believe that through him all things are possible...
I have a rough week ahead, a final exam in my health care research class, a trip to New Jersey, and then DC to catch my flight to go see her emoticon ...I am praying for continued strength and motivation...

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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    I am so sorry to hear about your grandmother. My thoughts are with you and your family. You said it best--there is little comfort that I can offer you. But please know that I am proud of you for your commitment to your health even in these trying times. emoticon emoticon emoticon
    2859 days ago
  • KEYTA165
    I will be praying for you. Praying that you find peace and rest. God has your grandmother in his hands and he has you also. God Bless you Merry Christmas. emoticon
    2859 days ago
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