This was written in answer to one of the forums of the red bra team.A marvelous team to deal with the mind problemns that make us overeat .Thought that sumarizing what has been this year to me would give tribute to the people that have helped me walk this journey back to health and happiness.
. I can still recall myself last Christmas .They where quite difficult times for my family as my schizophrenic son left the house to deambulate in november and I decided after finding out it was of his own will that I will not have him back.He is been in a shelter for addicts (he is a mental patient not an addict or alcoholic) the whole year.I have no contact with him.He is been seduced by an older man and I have decided not to do anything more about it.
He is an adult already and must lead his own life.Wish him all the good of the world but after 21 years of suffering have decided to put a stop to it.
Last december they did me emergency cardiac work up because after carrying 8 pound for about 20 steps was out of breath for an hour and had to call home to come and get me.Could not even walk the ramp of my house without help.Cardilogist told me needed to urgently lose weight and change my lifes priorities from family to myself or wouldn't be for them either.
This has been a slow process of mind preparing and willingness that got me to spark,quickfiring ,moving,the challenges team,walking programn,red team and finally no resolutions team. .This have been my main teams during this year although ocasionally use other.Have received the help of so many people that better not list as forgetting one would not be fair.
Some of the leaders of these team have been a major positive influence in my life.They know who they are and I thank them for it.Will try to pay it forward or backward if ever needed.I lost 43 pounds which has help me be able to walk again.My back still gives me problemns and it is still hard to bend or balance but can now walk my ramp and some more.
After the summer started to take French classes to improve my memory problemns with another wonderful teacher that has taught me that I can be able to slowly memorize again and learn a new language.To her I bow in thanks as previously was thought had in incurable degenerative disease of the brain.This has improved my selfesteem so much that in January I am going back to study again.
I am learning to dream again and when you dream you become unstoppable .Want to do many things I never did like kayaking,learn to dance ,laugh a lot ,lose the height and airplane fear,stop my claustrophobia etc.,learn to bike to be able to do a triatlon.( I am already swimming and walking).Last but not the least do a postgraduate degree in The Sorbonne in France for which I am learning French.
Most important of all i am learning to enjoy the daily journey and live in the present moment.
So this has been a wonderful ,exciting and growth year.At present I am trying to learn that the only thing I have to fear is fear itself.Will be welcoming the next year with new hopes and dreams, just one day at a time faking it if I cann't do it, but with no preconceived expectations except to keep walking in this road to health and happiness paraphrasing a dear friend and not forgetting in the daily journey to stop and nuture my good wolf as the other is always watching