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Sunday, December 06, 2009

OK... Here I am, only 3 exams left, and then I am done one of the most grueling massage therapy training programs in the world!!!!! This is really almost a pre-med! 2,200 hours of class-time and over 450 hours of clinical experience in 18 months!!! Even though it's technically college, it's really university-level instruction - in fact, our anatomy, physiology, and pathology courses count as 2 full years towards a bachelor of science degree in kinesiology!!!!


I have always struggled with school. I always figured it was "just me", until I tried to go to university full-time, and failed miserably! Talk about crash and burn!!! When I realized I wasn't able to read my textbooks (even though I've been reading since I was 4 years old!), I finally got some testing done, and discovered I have a hidden learning disability. I've been able to be very high-functioning, partly because I am smart, but also because I'm also very stubborn, and I was burnng myself out on a regular basis just trying to be "normal"!

This made total sense, because even with work, I would be able to go for about 2 years at one position, then I'd end up "finishing" it for one reason or another, and then find another job (usually with a short break in between). I realized I needed that break, because I was burning out!!!

Well, that was all well and good, but I needed to pay the rent and feed my child, so I just kept going on, but always thinking about how could I change things so I wasn't burning out all the time? It wasn't long after that, that I also figured out I had Insulin Resistance, and that it was connected to my Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome (PCOS) that I had known about for years, but was unable to treat because my body just can't handle birth control pills. This gave me a new direction to work in, and added another level to my lack of energy issues and on-going depression. Over time, I was finally able to find a good endocrinologist who put me on Metformin. That, combined with a good, low-GI-type diet and a lot of walking helped me lose 40 lbs!!! emoticon I was also recovering from a serious burn-out and off work, so I had lots of time to spend on myself. I decided that enough was enough, and went looking for a different path to follow. After all, "The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again, and expecting a different result!" (Albert Einstein, I believe).

Fortunately, my doctor told me to never return to that type of work, so I was able to access a re-training program that allowed me to go back to school. I chose massage therapy, partly because I had wanted to do something like that since I was 6 years old, partly because I had always loved helping other people, partly because I wanted a profession rather than a "job", but also because I knew that I needed a very physically active career to help me stay fit, as I always had a hard time managing both a healthy lifestyle and working. I knew that I needed to combine them, and have a career that was flexible enough that I could afford to slow down or take some time off if I was getting stressed or burned out, and still make enough money to pay the bills.

I was terrified about if I would be able to handle such a demanding program! After all, they tell you straight-out that they don't recommend having a part-time job if you can avoid it - there's just too much to do! I was also really afraid that I would bomb out again, like I had the last time I had tried full-time school. (Very!) long story short - I made it!!!! emoticon Now, I wasn't able to keep up the healthy lifestyle changes nearly as well as I wanted to, especially the last few months. I am too ashamed to update my ticker, but I'm closer to 290 right now than 270. emoticon I was hoping to continue in losing weight, but... que sera, sera. Now that the pressure of school is off, I'm starting to go back to healthier eating habits, and taking my medication regularly again. The rest will follow.

Now, I can't believe I was actually SUCCESSFUL at something!!!! I'm almost afraid that if I breathe the wrong way, it will all vanish, like a dream! I need to start working ASAP, but I find that I'm having a hard time applying to massage therapy jobs - I just can't believe that it's real, that anyone will want to hire me! I know that I will find a way to "unstick" myself at some point, but in the meantime, I'm still a bit dazed! lol

Wish me luck!!! emoticon
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    I wish you all the luck in the world! You are probably relieved to have names to the things that have always been there. I know I was. So good luck and keep pushing!
    3023 days ago
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