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I Rebel, I Eat, and Then I Realize New Things

Sunday, November 29, 2009

After a year of eating better and doing other healthier things, I sometimes feel that I have come so far. And other times, not so much. It's like that saying about the more I know, the more I realize there is so much more to learn.

I've learned how to fall off the wagon and get up again. I've also learned that, even when I think that I have fallen, it's not as bad now as it was on my best day then. In other words, I've lost a lot of my piglet ways.

With that said, there have been many deaths of dear ones in the past couple of years -6 - (on top of my own non-stop challenges). As I've learned to deal with the grief a lot better, I also have three more who are currently in stage 4. As a result of all this, I sometimes take on an attitude that life's too short to deprive myself - of anything! (smiling) Of course, if I'd continued to eat unhealthy, I would have made that life a lot shorter.

What I realized over this past 4-day weekend is that, even when I allowed myself to have that which I usually don't eat, it was like forcing myself to enjoy it. In other words, I didn't enjoy all that sugar anymore. I wanted to enjoy it, but my body and mind really don't want it that much.

That was a VERY important lesson to learn. And relearn as often as it takes. It's truly a one day at a time thing.

And to that rebel in me that sometimes doesn't want to do SP anymore, who gets sick of tracking, blogging, and logging in - tough darts. That's what'll keep me on the straight and narrow until this healthy lifestyle becomes ingrained. It's like doing the tough love thing to the child within.

I'm learning in baby steps. (smiling) Wishing all a wonderful day.
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  • VICIOUS421
    emoticon emoticon emoticon
    2907 days ago
    Reading your blog reminds me that for us mortals, changing our lifestyles to be healthy is a gradual process! I think Sparkpeople helps us to stay pointed in the right direction more often than not.
    2909 days ago
  • JLITT62
    Most of the time I still enjoy my sugar. In moderation. But I didn't enjoy my peanut butter bucket all that much -- the chocolate was actually too thick (the mind boggles) & not enough PB insides.

    Like you, tho, I am learning, finally -- I hope! -- that I can eat badly occasionally and the sky won't fall in. That I can get right back to my healthy habits & be alright.
    2911 days ago
    You have inspired me to write a blog about serious health problems. Didn't want to do this subject but I think it's time. I am thrilled at your progress and your fight for yourself. Good for you. emoticon
    2911 days ago
    emoticon emoticon it's funny how sugar doesn't hold the emoticon promise anymore. just good exercise and eating right. emoticon
    2912 days ago
    Thanks for the SparkGoodie and kind words- love your kitties too!
    2912 days ago
    DITTO!!!!!!! LOL
    Great blog.....wished I had said that myself.......we are here for you gal.......we row the same boat.......I have been told tho that both of my oars aren't working.....LOL
    2912 days ago

    Comment edited on: 11/29/2009 11:53:12 AM
    Oh stop writing about me LOL..feel the same way when i really want to rebel with food now it just makes me sick to my drinking don't like how it makes me feel after..and still have to fight the good track and blog..great insight
    2912 days ago
    What's up SJ ~ So would another title for this be Rebel without a Cause? Or Rebel Sparked by Cause and Effect? LOL

    Thoroughly enjoyed reading your blog and I am with you on the emoticon steps. Once in a while I do wish that tracking spark was more autonomic like breathing...then again I would miss out on the fun of watching my progress.

    Aloha ~ Maya
    2912 days ago
    I couldn't have said it better. We are never to old to learn and the learning process is a continous thing. Thank you for sharing this blog with me.

    2912 days ago
    2912 days ago
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