Last night, I hung out at work until a few minutes before 6:00 because I was waiting for the skating rink to open. I pulled into their parking lot and was the only car there. Most of the skating rinks around here are open weird hours -- primarily evenings and mainly on the weekends. I get in free since I am fresh meat for my league.

Well, I was the only grown-up girl there. I walked in with a dress on and had to go change in the bathroom. I accidentally left my orthotics in the car. Anyhow, one woman runs the entire place (takes admission, DJ's, rents skates, sells food, sells skates, etc.) The music is so loud it's hard not to want to move. There were lots of ballads by Pink.

Anyhow, all of these memories came flooding back of being in elementary school and roller skating until I had blisters. The more I thought about it, I realized that when I was at my skating prime I wasn't a fat girl. Then, it's like "why did I let it slip away? When did food become my primary fun activity? It was when my dad lost his job and my mom had to go to work." I know many well adjusted children whose mommies work, "why did eating after school become my primary activity?" Deep psychological probing probably is called for in this situation-- I won't punish the reader with it now.

So, my point is that I skated as hard and as fast as I could without anyknee/elbow/wrist pads. Eventually others showed up: a senior-aged man, two other guys in their twenties and two younger girls (one of which belongs to a fellow derby girl). I was getting weird looks because I have to skate hunched forward instead of up and back. This is to increase my odds of falling forward and not cracking the beloved tail bone. Then, I don't use my stoppers as brakes. Instead, I plough (like a downhill skier) to stop or I balance on one foot and use the opposite skate's wheels perpendicularly for resistance. This is called a T-stop. I also practiced walking on my stoppers. Eventually, I will need to be able to run on them while pulling half of my team members around the track for a drill. I almost busted it a couple of times while doing this dorky, Pee Wee Herman move. It doesn't help that the rink is a former boat warehouse and has lots pock marks and seams in the concrete.

My heart rate ranged anywhere from 160-185 during my workout. I often took breaks when my oxygen and back muscles protested. I skated for an hour, went home and was ravenous. Next time, I will pack some protein in the car to eat ASAP so that I don't eat too much after my 45 min commute to headquarters.
I had to be brave to do that last night. I suppose that is my point. I really didn't care about how big I looked or if people were making fun of me. I know the strange looks had to do more with "what is she up to?" than any kind of negative body image, etc. Anyhow, progress is being made.