Advertisement -- Learn more about ads on this site.


    CASE4GRACE   25,501
SparkPoints
25,000-29,999 SparkPoints
 
 
Out of balance and need to take back control

Tuesday, November 17, 2009

Since starting my weight loss journey 11 months ago, something I have become more and more aware of is just how many areas of my life are seriously out of balance. Everywhere I look, there are extremes, most resulting from my own lack of self-discipline.

too much excess weight
too many bills/debt
too much "stuff"
too much to do
too much STRESS

too little energy
too little money
too little time
too little organization
too little BALANCE

I've had enough already!

Five months ago, I tackled the top of the list. I had adjustable gastric band surgery to deal with my chronic obesity, which I was never able to get under control on my own before. For the first time in my life, I feel more in control - not perfect (and probably never will be) but actively making progress and no longer leaving the outcome to chance. I know there are varying opinions on bariatric surgery, but believe me, this was not taking "the easy way out" - what it did was provide a tool - an opportunity for me to take back control. It requires hard work and dedication every single day, but I am doing it - I am losing the excess weight and gaining energy, strength, and health. The band has tipped the scale (pardon the pun!) in my favor and now long-term success is within my grasp.

Now it's time to tackle the other items on the list.

I learned today that, barring a miracle, we will be filing bankruptcy and losing our home. After an 8-year slide backward, we have hit bottom with no where else to go. It's devastating - I can't believe this is my life. It seems surreal. But after deep contemplation about this, I am coming to terms with it and realize that this is the financial equivalent of obesity, and bankruptcy just might be the "surgery" we need to get on track. It's like the "band" that will constrain us financially and provide the opportunity to take back control. Please don't misunderstand. I am not glorifying bankruptcy. This also is not the "easy way out" - it is going to be one of the most difficult things we ever go through and will require hard work and dedication. But it is an opportunity for redemption - to take back control, start making progress, and do it right this time.

Eventually, we will be moving from our four bedroom home to a much smaller rental. With this will come the final purging of all the extra "stuff" that clutters up our home and our lives. A lot of it we could live happier without, and maybe if we would have said "no" originally, we wouldn't be in the situation we're in now. It is all life-draining - taking our time and money to manage and keep up. I'm ready for it all to be gone. I long for simplicity now.

I know none of this is going to be easy - neither is losing weight - but it has to be done. Just like I had fears before surgery, I am nervous now, wondering if I have what it takes to do the "heavy lifting" that is coming ahead. I wonder what the outcome will be. I wonder how my kids will adjust to the changes. One baby step at a time, and I will get through this.

It is said what doesn't kill you makes you stronger. I think I'm going to be pretty ripped when I get on the other side of this.
SHARE
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

XHOOSIERLOSER 11/18/2009 2:03PM

    You are doing such a great job of putting this all into perspective. Things come into and go out of our lives for a reason that only God knows. Accepting the present and being ready for what is next will take you a long long way.

continue counting your blessings, and spark on!

Report Inappropriate Comment
FELICE73 11/18/2009 10:16AM

    Your outlook and attitude is great! That is going to help and get you through the coming months.

So are WE ! Your sparkfriends. We will be there with you every step of the way. You can lean on us, cry to us, ANYTHING you need! You really are the shining star in my life right now and I appreciate it! You understand what I am going through and I understand what you are going through!!

You will pull through this. We were very close to bankruptcy before and were lucky to pull out of it. We very seriously considered if that wasn't the right thing to do. It is NOT the easy way out (and neither is WLS!). You gotta work just as hard!!

Just remember I am here for you! FOR ANYTHING!

Report Inappropriate Comment
102633 11/18/2009 7:21AM

    Sometimes the consequences of our actions shake us into a reality check. I commend you on your taking control of the obesity issues in your life. I am so sorry about the financial loss that you are suffering.

You are facing it all with a positive attitude and you are right about taking each day with baby steps. You will survive everything that you are facing and some day will look back to see that you have grown stronger because of your experiences.

Keep on striving to be healthy in every area of your life and you will be the better for it.

Report Inappropriate Comment
PASTORWILEY62 11/17/2009 8:07PM

    AMEN MOST OF THIS IS NOT EASY BUT THIS TO SHALL PASS, NOT ONCE BUT TWICE WE LOST OUR HOME, I LOST MY JOB DUE TO MY HEALTH. MY STORY IS MOST LIKE YOURS EXCEPT NO BAND ON TUMMY. YOU WILL MAKE IT. YOU WILL SEE IT WILL BE COME EASIER. WE KNOW LIVE IN SMALL CONDO. AND IT IS ALMOST MAINTENANCE FREE, SINCE I COULDN'T FIT IT ALL, EASIER TO MAINTAIN AND EACH DAY I TAKE AS THE LORD GIVES ME. NOW I AM JUST GLAD I AM OUT OF BED AND WALKING AGAIN, THAT MY HUSBAND SURVIVED ALL 3 HEART ATTACKS ALL IN ONE DAY. NOW SOME OF IT ISN'T AS IMPORTANT AS IT WAS. SO HAND IN THERE TRUST THE LORD

Report Inappropriate Comment
TONNIJ 11/17/2009 7:45PM

    I think you have a really healthy way of looking at what is going on in your life. You are regaining control. God doesn't always work in the manner that we think he will, but when we are willing to submit, he will guide us. Sounds like he is guiding you!
praying!
Tonni

Report Inappropriate Comment

Add Your Comment to the Blog Post


Log in to post a comment.
 


Other Entries by CASE4GRACE