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    CAROLJ74   43,363
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Back in the Saddle...YET AGAIN!


Friday, November 13, 2009

Have you ever watched movies where the kid had a lot of friends and felt comfortable in his/her circle was forced to move to a new school. The nervousness and apprehension of having to start over again totally nerve wracking! That is where I am at right now. I have been on SP for so long yet I feel like the new kid in school. So many new faces. It really is great to see.

I have been feeling really tired lately. Not sure if it is because I am not taking care of myself like I once was...or just exhaustion. I know what I need to do. I just don't know how to start again. Do I really need to hit the wall again? And how many times do I need to hit that stupid wall before I finally get it! I did so well last time. 40 pounds down. GONE! And now, they are slowly coming back. And I cry because I don't know how to start! I don't have the time or the energy to put me first! I am angry at myself for allowing myself to get comfortable. I was loving the way I looked and that was enough to make me start backing off slowly and now completely.

I have checked out mentally on everything! EVERYTHING! My workouts stopped and I still felt ok, because I was keeping up with my food and now that is even gone. I stopped checking in on my teams because it was really just easier to checkout. When people stopped looking and checking up on me it was easier to ignore. I signed up for the BLC thinking that it was going to help me and initially it did but then all of the little things slowly started taking over. I need to be pushed. No! Let me rephrase that...I WANT TO BE PUSHED! I am asking, begging and pleading...please please please HELP ME! It is obvious to me that I can NOT do this alone. I would LOVE to lose 10 pounds by the end of the year. The stupid 10 pounds that thought I needed to have back in my life...which I don't! I am going to do my part by logging in and communicating (blogging and posting) encouraging and supporting. If you don't hear from me...LOOK FOR ME! Hunt me down! Most of you are friends with me on Facebook! I am going to freshen up my Sparkpage! I will check in on Sunday evening to let you all know how my weekend went! Oh and tonight I will take an updated picture. I want a before and after. I am refusing to let the bulge win this battle.


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Member Comments About This Blog Post:
ELLIE-1220 11/28/2009 10:37AM

    Carol - I'm sorry that I haven't pushed you harder, or tracked you down when you've gone MIA. I will do better.

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MELSMIMI 11/16/2009 7:37PM

    Hey Carol!! I thought I would pop in on you tonight for no other reason than your pic on my home page. WHAT DID I FIND???? You are feeling the same way I am EXCEPT I put back on all of the 36 I had been happy to lose earlier this year when I was just doing Sparks the way it should have been.

I will give you a kick if you promise to do the same for me. I am sick and tired of being sick and tired.

Elane

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SWEETZMIX 11/16/2009 1:22PM

    YAY your back!!

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NEKOPIE76 11/15/2009 7:00PM

    I am so glad that you are "back." I need a buddy. Want to do this together? Whether it be holding each other accountable or by having a friendly competition (who can lose 10 lbs first). I don't care what it is. I just need to know that I am not alone.

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PINK-SOLDIER 11/14/2009 10:55PM

    Wishing you power and strength! Keep focused and stay positive! You CAN and WILL do it, BELIEVE! emoticon

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TNEAL94 11/14/2009 10:04AM

    Glad you are back. You can do it. I have thought about you many times.

Tonya

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TNEAL94 11/14/2009 10:04AM

    Glad you are back. You can do it. I have thought about you many times.

Tonya

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MELANN36 11/13/2009 6:45PM

    let me have this baby and then i'll be back on here like i should be and i'll keep you in check!

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TELERIE 11/13/2009 6:21PM

    Carol my friend, I know you can do it again. I'll keep an eye out for you! You are a busy Mom, but we all need some time for ourselves! Put yourself first for half an hour every day and take the first step today, then another. Make a daily goal of GOYAAM - come and track it on the November thread! Remember to have fun too!
You know how to do it - read your old blogs from here brimming with enthusiasm. Love ya - let me know how I can help ya! emoticon

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BULLSBAMA98 11/13/2009 3:22PM

    It's good to have you back my friend. I have missed you dearly.

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