Wednesday, November 11, 2009
We had a really interesting conversation in my Depression class on Monday. We were talking about the scripts that are in our heads. Think about it. What do you constantly hear in your head? Is it positive? Is it negative? Personally, most of my scripts are negative.
I'm not smart enough.
I will always be overweight.
There is no way I can do this.
I will never be able to run a marathon.
How many times have you thought to yourself "Why can't I get my head straight? Why am I so hard on myself?"
Here is the answer. You might not be the one that is being hard on yourself. It might be something else.
Another question: Do you believe in evil? It doesn't have to be in a religious sort of way (ie. Satan, or the Devil), but just evil sprits/forces in general. Personally, I do. I know there is evil in this world that is actively working against us.
And those evil forces are really good liars.
These evil forces are lying to us. They don't want us to succeed. So, the next time you hear a negative thought running through your brain, take the time to identify it as a lie. If you are faith-inclined, make it a prayer. "Jesus, that is a lie!" Or just say it out loud. "Something is trying to tell me that I can't lose this weight. That is a LIE! I can lose this weight, by eating healthy and exercising."
The most important thing in this practice is to be consistent. Whenever you hear those lies in your head, identify them, and speak out against them. Eventually, they will not happen as often. The better you get at identifying them, the more they will just disappear.
So that is what I learned this week. I don't think I worded it as well as our instructor, but I did my best. I hope this helps someone, even a little bit.
In other news, I am doing so well. I am racking up the NSVs this week, let me tell you. Today after my workout with Jillian, I decided to go out for a 1/2 hour walk. It was the perfect plan... except it didn't work. I ended up going for a 1/2 hour run. WHAT?!?!?!
Let's back up for a second. The last time I really ran was my half marathon back in May. Historically, when I take months long hiatuses from running, it has always been super hard getting back into it, and it takes a few weeks before I can even run a whole mile without stopping to walk or wanting to die. Today I ran 1.72 miles. Without stopping. Because apparently I can. I guess losing 20 pounds and working out (walking and doing my DVD - that's it), really has upped my endurance. I hope this translates to easier hiking next summer, too.
Anyway. I let Jillian kick my ass for 22 minutes then went for a run. What have I become? I don't know the answer to that, but it felt pretty dang good.