emptiness

ALBA06's Blog

emptiness

Saturday, November 07, 2009

i know i should count my blessing and do more to involve myself in the world, but i am afraid to. i spend hours and hours alone with no one to talk to but my dog. i sometimes just cry for hours because i feel so empty and void inside. i know i am the one who has to make the changes but i never seem to be able to do it. i have a best friend. someone i have known since i was 7 but the only time she calls me is to tell me something terrible so i don't answer the phone when she calls any more. i know i need to reach out but i am so afraid to take a chance on living. what's wrong with me?

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SHAR1717 11/7/2009 1:29PM

Oh my Melissa - I have been in your place before. That is some serious depression. Wanting to stay home alone to me mans the word does not feel safe to you. I don't know what kind of meds you are taking. I take quite a concoction - but they do help. I find if I have too many days at home - I/we get into trouble - so I make my week pretty busy. I have therapy 2 afternoons a week, I work for my neighbor cleaning and doing laundry about 6 or 7 hours a week. Just a few months ago I started a volunteer job which is a faith-based group that help local poor folks. It has made me open my eyes about a lot of things. I feel like I am at least helping a little bit. Maybe something like that could be an answer for you. Most of my friends are online too - I find it easier that way. Hop you feel better soon! Hugs Shar

SUESMITH73 11/7/2009 9:15AM

Crying for hours is a sign of Depression. You could have a chemical imbalance. Do a web search to check for other symptoms
& go see a doctor. Depression is most often a physical illness that can be treated. I've been there! When you are depressed, you don't feel like doing things you once loved to do.
My life was so much better after I started treatment!
I am now off medication & have never been happier.

You will be in my thoughts & prayers!

Susan

SEEKINGMYSELF 11/7/2009 5:36AM

Melissa, you are so worth it! Your best friend doesn't sound like a friend at all. I have problems meeting people myself. That is one of the things I love about SP. It is easier to meet people here, at least for me.

If you ever want to talk, I'd be happy to listen. Send me an email and I'll send you my phone number. In the meantime, getting out is a good idea. I do some volunteering myself to make me interact with others. It also feels good to know you are helping someone else at the same time. Maybe you could find a volunteer opportunity that ties into one of your other interests.

JENNI92871 11/7/2009 4:38AM

You are worthy, you just don't want to believe it (I'm the same way, I can't take a compliment, I always figure they want something, or are pulling something over my eyes)
well how's your sewing coming along? maybe you can sew something for your dog, or something new for you. when you finish a project, you will be proud of your accomplishment & it will lift your spirits. I think you aren't keeping yourself busy so you are mulling over things from the past. You could volunteer, doing something that keeps you busy & lets you help others, maybe you need someone to need your help to fulfill your life, or you could find some things you like to do, treat yourself to a day out ~ get a day @ the spa, relax. remember no matter what happened in the past, the past is the past & you have to move forward. Try to live life to it's fullest, don't waste any time, do things you've always wanted to do(if you are able to) take a vacation, climb that mountian etc.