Tuesday, November 03, 2009
I am bumming today. I have not lost any weight in over 2 weeks now. I know exactly why. Two weeks in a row I had days where I ate like I wanted to. I had about 4 billion Tootsie Rolls from Halloween. My husband brought home two HUGE bags when he thought we would run out of candy for trick or treaters. I CANNOT resist sweets. I don't have them in the house normally for that reason. I am a total sugar junkie.
I've been avoiding it for the most part, but here and there, I've given in. The results are that my weight has stayed the same and it sucks! I'm pissed off at myself because I have gained and lost more than 20 lbs at least 20 times in the last 4 years! I'm NOT kidding!
I'm pissed off because I go great guns and do really good and then I have the times where I'm eating with a frenzy.
I've been walking, but not every day. I STILL haven't started strength exercises because they suck frankly and I just ignore them. Then I hate myself because I'm a failure and a loser and don't do what I'm supposed to do and have no one to blame but me.
The only thing that is different is that I'm here doing this Sparks thing. I did Weight Watchers last year out of desperation, because I had never done anything like that before. I lost 40 lbs and stopped going because I was so ashamed that I gained 2 weeks in a row when the group leader had been making a huge deal out of me losing every week. I was embarrassed. Then I promptly ate it all back on and felt too ashamed to go back. This is where I am now.
I wanted you all to think I was like the people who are so successful here. I'm not.