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Sunday, November 01, 2009

It is just a week since I wrote my last blog and a few things have changed. He has been asking me everyday since I made my decision am I sure it is over. Can we talk about it. So I said we will talk on Sunday after I take my granddaughter home. I chose to talk to him he was trying to change and help out and I never gave him a chance to try I just said it was over. I didn't expect it to work but I thought this way I could say I did everything to try to make it work.
Yesterday he had blood work, ultrasound and chest x-rays so he had to fast for 12 hours. He went about a week without drinking I think he did it thinking his test results would be better. The family thinks he did it to prove to me he could. My 15 year old grandson thinks he did it because he thought it would be enough for me not to leave. Whatever reason he did it he bought beer and got drunk right after I left town yesterday because he knew I wouldn't be back until late in the night.
When we tried to talk this morning he has been depressed and has had a headache for over a week. I told him what pills to get at walmart and he chose to get beer instead. So the alcohol isn't helping with his depression. I asked him to spend the last 4 days deciding why he wanted to try to make it work. His response when I asked him today was you should know so I think everyone knows where we are going from here. He never did answer the question are you willing to go to counselling? He got angry and said that the houses aren't going up for sale. He says it is my fault he has the headache etc. so needless to say I am still going with my first instinct and getting out of here while the getting is good. I just don't want to be here again in the future. I feel I gave it all I have and then some. I can't live my life for everyone else anymore. I still feel very positive about my decision I didn't waiver during the last week just decided to give him a chance to show me we could work it out and live happily ever after just like in the fairy tales. You know that is why they are called fairy tales. I am off to pack and finish ripping off the wallpaper in the bathroom. My daughter is having a painting getting the house ready for sale party next Saturday and we will probably put the house up for sale on Monday. I hope reality hits him before then and he signs no problem. Have a great day Teri emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon
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    The decision to leave a marriage is heart-wrenching and so very difficult. In my case(many years ago in a first , short marriage), I had wanted to go to counselling, begged him to quit drinking--all that. Only after I left did he want to see a counsellor-promise to quit drinking. But, for me , once the decision was made there was nothing emotionally left for me to go back to. I will be keeping you in my prayers during this difficult time in your life.
    2940 days ago
  • L*I*T*A*
    hi teri.........sounds like you have been under a great deal of stress of late!!!!
    if he doesn't want to go to counselling what about going for yourself???
    it would help you get through this difficult time as they is a lot to deal with right now........,,wishing you all the best as you make all the changes required in your life right now...........keep you and yours in my prayers........blessings and hugs..........lita
    2940 days ago
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