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    IWANT2LOSEIT1   51,810
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About me in nutshell!


Saturday, October 24, 2009

Hey to everyone who is going to read my blog.

To start with i'll introduce myself very simply.

I'm a 20 years "young" lady who lived previously a life of pain, suffering and

tears. I've faced so much difficulties and many situations that changed the way I

look into life, love, friendship and family!

At a young age (14) I lost my first love! Well you may say, what one knows about

love at this young age. But I know I did! When the only ones who you feel

warm & secure with, die infront of your eyes in a car accident, wouldn't

you change your mind about life? I started to believe in fate, nothing else in

our life we can change, and as a consequence I started eating to death! When

people around me started noticing the "fat" changes i blamed it on genetic!

I come from an "overweight" family, where everyone is overweight! But I knew

that I wasn't before, and although I do have the tendeacny to gain weight fast

due to this genetic factor I can still control my intake of food and avoid

being overweight. But I didn't. I felt the need for food. I wanted the security in

food. I knew that food is always there for me everytime I need it!!!

Then, fate came into play again. We moved to Australia from the

Middle - East. and again food is the only thing that doesn't change

from a country to another, right?

Not to mention, the death of two of my best friends due to various reasons.

Not to mention, the feeling of homesick.

Not to mention, the hardness in feeling as you don't belong

And the list will go on!

However, I lived another personality with people!

No one saw me ever crying "only my big teddy bear!"

No one heard me complaining or talking about anything that bothers me

I always kept it to myself. Because I felt like this is the me that No one should

know off! It is me from deep inside and if i started sharing it with someone

I may lose them and then what was the point?!

Nevertheless, I was successful at school, got top marks and graduated and

currently in my third year of my psychology degree. I choose psychology,

specifically for many reasons that I may share in another blog sometime.

University/ college was the changing step in my life! I started gaining my self.

I realised how much life could be different, the changes I could make and the

slow death I was driving my self into. I started exercising, cutting on junk food

and lost almost 15 kilos by motivation and willingness. But when I arrived at my

current weight "76 kilos", life wanted to come into play again and take

control! I lost the only and one very close friend! At that point, I realised the

truth, I realised that the way we live our life is the way it works out! I didn't

blame it on life this time, I blamed it on the bad habits my friend had,

drinking too much, smoking too much and many other problems! I realised

there is no turning back for me, I've to get my life back, I've for once to think

of what is coming ahead of me, I've to believe in myself from the deep inside and

not just fake it infront of people. I've to too many things!

And i found Sparkpeople by browsing the internet. And now I'm motivated

I want to lose the weight and look different and feel different by the time I finish

my degree. By the time I enter "Real life". By the time I feel ready

to be loved and love again.

Call me: Iwant2loseit!

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Member Comments About This Blog Post:
CTUPTON 10/7/2013 11:08PM

    You can handle all this. It is not easy. At age 20 I was going to school too. I became a teacher of deaf students. I just retired about a year ago. It was not an easy road but I sure learned plenty! chris

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IWANT2LOSEIT1 10/25/2009 7:11PM

    Hi Jade, I wish you all the best and luck as well in your journey to healthier, better and fun life! Sure will message you when I need, you do the same as well. We can support each other as we felt and went through similar experiences! Keep in touch & thanks for passing by

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IWANT2LOSEIT1 10/25/2009 7:07PM

    Hey NOTCOMFORTABLE, firstly, thanks for passing by. Secondly, I agree we've to change and life isn't going to change us if we don't try and if we not willing to. The first step is to make the decision of change and it is the hardest choice then everything would become easier. Keep in touch!



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JADE465 10/25/2009 3:40PM

    I am so proud of you because you have decided to make a change in your lifestyle. I wish you the best of luck and I feel for everything that you have gone through. I know that we can do this, so let's do it. You can message me whenever if you need support or whatnot.

Take care.

Jade

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NOTCOMFORTABLE 10/25/2009 5:02AM

    Hey! I'm new here too and I know what you mean about not letting anyone see it other than your teddy bear. I've realized that I'm going to have to change myself, because life isn't going to change it for me. I can't wait around for something to happen I have to do it myself. With sparkpeoples help of course! Hopefully we can help each other through this : )


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IWANT2LOSEIT1 10/25/2009 12:55AM

    Blue97Harbor, Brandismarg & Tatter3, Thanks for passing by

my first blog!

Cheers



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TATTER3 10/24/2009 6:20AM

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BRANDISMARG 10/24/2009 5:53AM

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BLUE97HARBOR 10/24/2009 5:01AM

    Sending warm thoughts your way....

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