Friday, October 23, 2009
I can only think of one other year that has been as terrible as this one, however, even though this one seems so terrible, I have also had much good come out of it.
I call it a bad year becuase of all the horrible things that have happened in my life this year. First I am told I can't walk & excersise like I'm accustomed to, right at a time that I was seeing so much progress, then my brother dies unexpectedly in july. It was only a few weeks later that my step mom whom I am /was close to, ends up in the hospital & dies a month later. Very devestating for my family & wonder if we will ever fully recover. then while I'm still on berevement leave my own mother ends up in the hospital!... I have been emotionally beat up & in the process of all this I managed to stop any cymbalance of working out. Need I even mention eating? My house has been the hub all summer long, thru all this grief, everyone has been gathering at my house, so fixxing meals that can be stretched to feed the multitude has been my only focus.
So now what? Well, I know I need to pick myself up & get back on the wagon & ride along, but I just am having a hard time doing that. I keep saying that "this week end" I'm going to get started & then I mess up & feel like such a failure. All the while I'm super unhappy w/ my body & just not happy with myself for being so weak. So I'm writing this blog. I' know I have come along a couple of time & said " this is it, I'm starting fresh again" & then something happens in my life & fail.... so
here I am again. I am starting fresh again. I am going to start recording everything I eat this week. Just like when I started this gig, I'm going to record for one week, then focus on a healthy breakfast for one week, then add healthy lunch for a week & the dinner.
The get in shape plan is to start back walking, very carefully. On top of that I'm going to add the boot camp video every other day.
So that's the plan. As far as my emotional health, I think that once I get started on my health plan I will start to feel better emotionally.
Ok, so all I needed was to vent & to say that I'm tired of all this stuff happening. I think its all at bay right now & that I can get moving forward. Wish me LUCK!