Yesterday I had the day off. Well, I did an overnight on Wednesday, and got home by 9AM. I did school with the kids. Clicked around on the computer. Dropped my daughter off at work. Did some errands. Did nothing around the house. Well, folded some laundry, organized my desk a bit.
I remember thinking and planning this week. I remember looking at my schedule, and thinking, "Praise the Lord! I'll have time finally to do school with the kids, and, go to the Y in the evening!"
What DID happen is this. I asked my daughter to make dinner when I got her back home. I had thawed the hamburger, and asked her to make spaghetti. So, she did. I was good. REAL good. I had fresh Romano cheese in the frig, and grated it on top, right onto my plate. I was so good, that, without thinking twice, I got another helping, bigger than the first.
The gym bag was packed, ready to go.
But I felt bloated.
Too bloated to go.
So, my kids, when dinner was done asked "Are we going to the gym?"
I told them my stomach needed to settle. So, I figured we would watch a least part of a Netflix movie, and then go once I didn't feel so bloated.
But I knew. We would be watching the whole movie.
I thought, "Why did I do THAT?! I'll start a 30 hour shift on Friday, and not have any time to go to the Y until Monday, maybe!"
Now, if someone is reading this, they might think, 'Big fat hairy deal'. Just start over again.
But I'm disappointed in myself. I knew better. Know better. I joined the Mindful Eating team to try to learn to think about what I'm putting in my mouth.
But other thoughts go through my head like,...
"I'm home, not at work for the evening, we should have dinner together."and..
"The kids are teenagers, soon, before I can blink, they'll be out the door, and we won't have these evenings around a meal anymore."
Well, it's Friday. I don't leave for my 30 hour shift until 3:30.
The gym bag is still packed...but....
The kids have tests and quizzes. I need to start my daughter on the computer keyboard lessons. We need to get to the library to get books for book reports. And...my son wants me to help him dress like a 'Nerd' for the harvest festival tonight. My friend Sharon, God bless her will pick my kids up.
The gym bag is packed...ready to go. I still have to pack some healthy food in my cooler to take for this shift, but...
What if I put off the library until Monday? Do the morning school, help my son PICK OUT the 'Nerd' outfit...drop my daughter off at work...then..............
Go to the gym from there? ...Then...on to work ...for 30 hours.
Longer time away from the kids.
I'm not completely comfortable with it.
They need the gym too...but...I KNOW I would feel better altogether after going.
I don't know. I'll have to pray about it.
Quick, though,...lol...yyeah...I quick conversation with God..cause....I gotta get the kids up and have them eat breakfast, and get started on the lessons. Make sure that they know what to do while I'm gone.
Anyway...I'm glad I can vent out here.
Thanks, Spark People!