I've been maintaining. I'll admit and be ok with that, because I haven't actively exercised in a while. I also eat slightly above the caloric requirements.

But it's time to get moving again! I don't want to gain the winter weight, and I definitely want to get moving on some of my goals. I found a new goal, too. Some day, I want to be strong enough to take pole dancing lessons! www.youtube.com/w
atch?v=8_NJiwIVu6k That video is why.

I don't want to be a stripper or anything. But look at those women! That is SO...amazing. Really a testament to what the human body can do when we want it to.

Anyway, I think I need to restructure my thinking patterns a bit. I have so much to do, all the time, that I make the choice not to exercise. My excuse is what I call "survival mode."

Survival mode is my way of getting too stressed about the next day. I worry that if I exercise, I'll need to sleep more; or if I just eat a little bit more, maybe I'll make it through the day in one piece. I don't know where this habit comes from, and I'm not entirely sure what I can do to ease my own fears.

I could adjust my eating to five meals a day, and create a schedule out of it. The issue there is, well, I have solid blocks of classes from 10-3:30. Whats the point of eating if I'm not enjoying it?

I'm also not sure what types of meals are filling enough in the 200-300 calorie range. Can anyone help with that? Has anyone switched to 5 meals a day?

As for my exercise, I think I'm trying to focus on too much at once. I can't decide if I want to focus on running or losing weight or weight training or what! I need to sit down and create a program that I'm comfortable with.

Right now, my current short term goals are the following:

By Nov 15:
-Touch my toes.
-Run 15 times.
-Do 10 real pushups in a row.