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About Last Night...


Saturday, October 17, 2009

Last night I met with my writer's group. We meet approx. every two weeks and I really enjoy it... for the most part. One of the members of my group is very tall and very skinny. She is also very nice, most of the time. But she can also be very blunt and sometimes harsh.

We were meeting at a family diner type place and I had planned my day so that I would have extra calories left for dinner, knowing that I would probably eat a little more than usual. I was really looking forward to the evening, seeing my friends, and enjoying myself guiltlessly.

As soon as we got settled at our table, this person started talking about how hungry she was. I said that I was too and that I was looking forward to splurging a little. She then started talking about how she eats so much, but it is okay because she is so skinny. She went on to state her entire workout routine.

It made me a little self conscious because I know that I am bigger than her, but I tried to brush it off. Then the food came and, while she ate everything on her plate, she kept asking me if I was done so that she could take my leftovers to her dog. So, I had to keep telling her that, no, I wasn't finished yet. It really ruined the meal and my mood.

By the time I left, I felt HUGE and pretty bad about myself. I almost felt like she might be doing it on purpose. There have been other times that she has stung me with little zingers and I couldn't tell if she was doing it intentionally or not. If she is doing it on purpose I would like to know why. I feel like we are friends and friends shouldn't try to hurt each other's feelings.

Then again, maybe I am being too sensitive about the whole thing. Advice, anyone?


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POSALMON 10/18/2009 3:43PM

    Thanks, SLWRITER, that is a good philosophy. emoticon

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SLWRITER 10/17/2009 7:24PM

    It's hard to get inside the head of someone like that. It's also hard to know whether she's being snitty or you're being sensitive. I suggest that it doesn't really matter. It took some serious work on my part years ago, but I've adopted a philosophy that works pretty well for me most of the time: "People can only make me feel bad if I let them." It's taken some practice, like I said, but it does help me. My mother used to say "consider the source." but I prefer what feels to me like a more "take control back" philosophy.

Rather than set up a confrontation or give her ammunition for further snits, try to take control back. Go ahead and let yourself feel good about the way you planned to enjoy your event, including the food. You did a good thing for yourself! That's what matters - YOU!



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