Monday, October 12, 2009
I've been back from my holiday a while now, but have been avoiding the site!!!
It's silly, I know, but I was feeling ashamed and felt that I had let myself down, and that everyone would think that I was a failure!!!
Before my holiday I managed to lose 6lbs and I had a wonderful time away, I didn't binge or vomit in the 2 weeks I was away and Adam and I didn't want to come home as we had such a spectacular time
Come home we did and I will share the photos this week.
The day after my holiday was when the problems started as I weighed myself........ I put on 9lbs in two weeks. At that point I was still ok, finding reasons for the weight gain.... Water retention, period etc!!!! I couldn't think why it would be so much; I exercised, ate healthily most of the time, so why so much weight gain.
I left it for a few days then weighed myself again.... no change, now I started to panic, feelings of failure and I started to beat myself up and stayed away from the place I would find help!!!!
2 weeks later and I realise how silly I have been and that I haven't been helping myself at all,but facilitating old behaviours, not taking responcibility for my actions and letting my weight get out of control again.
Today I am back and willing to work harder than ever to reach my goals; OK I'm starting right from the begining weight wise, but I have still come along way and I'm ready to continue on my journey :0)
We will all get there x x x x x