Monday, October 05, 2009
This is a principle of physics, but it is the same thing with regard to human behavior. Most people detest change, even when it is clear that a change would be for the better. Many, many years ago I read a book, Jude The Obscure. I can recall thinking as I read, "why doesn't he (the protagonist) do something...why does he just go on in his misery?"
I have changed some things in my life, and oh boy, was some of it ever scary. I thought I might be faced with loss; I might be lacking in courage, stamina or impetus, I might make a fool of myself. Right now I'm in a struggle to change. Today is day three that I've managed to do something, however little, to move in the right direction. I'm scared to death to even let anyone know what I am trying to achieve for fear that tomorrow I will revert.
Sometimes when we make a change we lose old buddies: excessive food, alcohol, gambling, etc. And when we lose these we need to confront the demons that they temporarily subdue.
What demons am I trying to bury? It's terrifying, but I know it's best if I go forward.