Thursday, October 01, 2009
My 21 day is fast approaching. I am feeling good on the Food Lovers Fat Loss System. My husband is on the program and that has made a big difference as well as all the support from Spark people.
I think back on all the diets I have been on and how all I ever learned was how to cheat not only with food but the scale as well. Sure eventually it all catches up and you have to face the fact you have been cheating. I walked away from many diets feeling hungry, ashamed and deprived.
I have been fat since I was in second grade and spent a summer bored eating all day at my grandparents house. I remember the teacher offering a little boy 2 candy bars to dance with me. I ran out of the classroom and hid in the bathroom. I didnt want to dance with a boy that needed to be paid to do it. I realized that food and love were the same. If you loved me you gave me food and let me have the quarter pounder and the fries and the Coke. My parents didnt love me they made me choose. They said I had to drink Diet Shasta not Coke. I was only free to eat what I wanted when I went to birthday parties or any parties where the food was layed out like a buffet. I had my wisdom teeth pulled when I was in my teens and my mouth swelled like a chipmunk. I managed to gain 5 pounds during that time.
As I grew older and entered the dating world food was my comfort. No I didnt go to prom but I ate like King Henry gorging on snack foods, pies and submarine sandwiches from 7-11. Food was my friend and for a while I felt good until the food rush wore off and I started feeling sick. Okay time to try yet another diet. I would do good for a week maybe longer and then I would wrap myself up in cupcakes, chips, frozen snickers bars and a Coke. The cycle begins again. Lose then gain then gain more then lose then gain more. What will it take for me to finally get it?
When I met my Husband Fred he was 70 pounds lighter than me. After awhile he became 4 pounds heavier than me. I didnt lose weight he gained it. When we got married 2 years after I moved to Arizona I was at my heaviest weight ever. Fred and I tried many diets together. He would do great and I would be begging for a day off to eat what I was craving. He would eventually give in and we would stray down the path of no return. You would think with all the years I have been on diets I would have learned something by now. What will it take for me to finally get it?
I have to say that doing the Food Lovers Fat Loss System for a little over two weeks has taught me alot. I have learned that you can eat when you are hungry and still lose weight. I have learned breakfast is a very important meal and it kicks starts your metabolism. The most important lesson I have learned is that I control food and it does not control me. I am no longer afraid of food and losing control. I realize now that when I am crazy hungry I make crazy choices. By keeping my body fueled and feeding it when it needs food I keep crazy choices away. There is nothing in this world I can not eat as long as I plan for it. It has taken me 47 years but I finally get it.
I am looking forward to my 21 day results which is right around the corner. I am grateful for the lessons I have learned and am still learning on my journey. I am so grateful for finding an eating lifestyle I can live with and not a diet. I will live and loose with this program while enjoying every bite.