Wednesday, September 30, 2009
The past couple of weeks have been hard for me, there are some things going on in my life in addition to the comfort issue that I am experiencing right now, meaning that I am comfy with myself and to get myself back on track I did something that had not occurred to me to try. This morning I started reading my own blog from day one, I figured that I get so many emails and comments stating that something I had written inspired someone else to either start their own journey of weight loss or I have kept them going when the stand off with the triple chocolate fudge cake was not looking favorable that maybe I could take some of that for myself. I read through some of my older posts and started feeling the way that I felt when I wrote them, what I mean is that I can remember where I was and how I felt when each post was written and I know that I am starting to sound like a broken record at this point and I have been the worlds worse blogger lately but I am back.
Remembering taking my walks with my daughter and the fact that it took me 20 minutes to walk roughly 1/3 of a mile and feeling that that was an accomplishment made me realize how far I have come in this whole thing. Reading about how I rode my stationary bike for 15 minutes and remembering just how tired I was after that fifteen minutes of movement knowing that I now walk 2 miles in just about 27 minutes and don't have to stop there because of pain means a lot to me. I read the posts from back then and can recall thinking that I would never get to 100 pounds lost on my own but knowing that I had to try so I kept going no matter what and how I felt at 500 plus pounds compared to right now and I KNOW that I have to keep going until I get where I need to, want to get where my health comes into play.
On Jan 06 2008 I wrote in a post "I do know that I cannot give up until I drop this weight and look forward to learning as much as I can to do that, obviously I failed Diet 101 thus far in my life." I believe that I have graduated from the "Diet" series of health class and have gained a ton of knowledge in the past almost two years while making my life and health a completely different thing than when that post was written. I believe that I have given myself and my family years of having me around with what I have done so far, but I am not done. I have so much more that I want to do with myself physically just to prove to myself that I can do it as well as show my kids that they can do whatever they put their minds to, so I have to keep this better health thang moving in a direction that promotes all of that.
There is stress in my life currently and I could blame that for my lack of effort lately but that would be a cop out and I won't do that. The bottom line is that I know what I need to do, I know that I have the willpower to do it, and stress or no stress its what I am going to do. This weight loss game is a life long decision, its something that will have to stay in place come rain or shine and honestly I have not fallen too far off of the wagon I have just stopped trying so hard, lets call it a pause. My lowest weight to date was 330 pounds and that weight was reached on August 14th 2009 and last Friday I was 9 pounds above that so I am sort of maintaining roughly 10 pounds above my low weight for the last almost seven weeks.
Maintaining at 340 pounds is not what I meant when I said "I do know that I cannot give up until I drop this weight" only six days into my lifestyle change so I must, how do I say? keep on keepin on until I get where I aimed for. I can't say that I have been very "inspiring" lately where weight loss is concerned but I can still say that I have lost a substantial amount of weight and hopefully added time to my life. I will not allow myself to keep going at a maintaining pace when I still weigh as much as I do, I cannot let that happen and I believe that it is happening because this is the weight that I have lived most of my life at. Once I reached adulthood I settled around this weight until I was injured in 2000 and then I blew up to my 500 plus pound self so this just feels right to me. Its time to blow past a boundary that I have never been past and get below 300 pounds, below 275 pounds, below 250 pounds? to be found out I suppose but to stop now would make zero sense at all, especially given the amount of success I have had thus far.
From the worlds worse blogger to you that's where I am today, will I get below 300 pounds? no doubt and I invite you to watch me do it.
I am back and I have to say that Zeusmeatball fella has inspired me to get my $hit together once again, who wouldda thunk?