Tuesdays are usually just that. Not a Monday. Far from a Friday. I slid into the clinic a few minutes before 8 am just in time to hear my named being paged to pick up a call from one of the doctors in our clinic. Not just one of the doctors. THE doctor. The one whose potential to be cranky (a nicer term than what's usually applied!) can be off the charts. True to form, he was ranting and raving about something we both knew I had nothing to with. Why me? Because I've worked with him 20 years and I know he's a brilliant physician who is really an iron covered marshmallow. As for him, he knows I won't dissolve into tears or file a harassment complaint against him because he dropped a few F bombs in my ear.
When he was done venting, I scrambled to get the room set up for my first patient.On Tuesdays I perform urodynamic studies on female patients which is essentially testing done on their bladder to work up their urinary incontinence. Each test takes approximately 45 minutes and I allow a 15 minute lapse between patients to disinfect and turn the room around. I work on a tight schedule seeing back to back patients all morning, then spend the afternoon generating their reports. Not much room for surprises. First patient was a little old lady who traveled 60 miles from out of town and got lost in the big city -- arriving 25 minutes late dutifully with her full bladder. What was I to do? Make her reschedule and drive the 60 miles back home for nothing? Nooo. Before long the frantic calls started coming in from the front desk: how much longer? Patient number 2 really has to go BADDDD!
And thus how the day progressed. I was really ready to hit the gym after work and run it all off.
I was so looking forward to working out I dressed quickly in my new thin white champion sports bra and pale green tank top not giving it another thought. September in Iowa starts chilly but progresses to hot as the day goes on, so I was thankful the Y had the air conditioning still on. I even got my favorite treadmill by the air vent in front of the TV with CNN. Yeah this is gonna be great!
And it started out that way. Wow, all the mostly male gym rats seemed in such good moods. I never got so many smiles, waves, and trips by my treadmill to borrow the disinfectant spray bottle by it. I even got a How YOU doing? from the female paramedic on the next treadmill who usually lifts weights in the weight room with the big boys...
Hmm? I was just about to hit my stride in the run when I looked down at my chest and figured it out real quick! I had 20 minutes left to run and then 15 minutes of my "J-Lo" walking (walking on an incline in an attempt to build up what mother nature left off). I kept my arms in close and wiped my neck off frequently with the towel.
NOTE TO SELF: Only wear a black sports bra to the gym from now on...
When I hit the locker room, I heard some soft tearful moans followed by "Help". Rounding the corner I saw a large woman up against a locker. She tearfully told me she was there for the evening water aerobics class and had gotten her new suit caught on the sharp locker corner and she was afraid to move lest she unravel a large hole in the suit. She was too big to reach around herself and try. While I delicately attempted to extract her snag, she poured out how she weighed 320 and had bad knees that needed replaced but her dr. told her that her morbid obesity made her a poor risk for surgery. He laid down the law that she had to lose weight, so she scraped her money together and joined the Y and bought a bathing suit. Did I know how much suits that size costs? She was on a limited income and facing disability with her knees. What would she do? I spent the next 20 minutes untangling her snag and plugging the SparkPeople website. I was so worked up I thought a choir of angels would start singing behind me any minute. She was excited and vowed if I got her out of her predicament she was going to go home and look us up right away. Finally I got the suit free and, ex-girl scout that I am, whipped out a bottle of super nail glue and dotted the snag to keep it from unraveling any further. She started crying agin. This time tears of gratitude. She missed the class but the suit was saved. In the midst of her tears she looked up at me full on and burst into laughter. I had been working behind her and now for the first time she really noticed... my chest.
Yeah, I know. It was one of THOSE Tuesdays....
(Hi to Hattie and I hope you did find us!)