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    BOILERINAZ   43,687
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Tackling the BIGGEST mtn I could find...and other challenges in life!

Tuesday, September 29, 2009

SOOOOO it has been quite some while since I have blogged anything...life has gotten in the way for a lack of better reasoning. So many people have reached out to support and motivate me I figured I should tell you all what was going on. I am not on spark quite as often and I apologize if I've not replied to a message or comment yet but know that all your words and motivation keep me going. It will be awhile before I'm able to be on here regularly again but spark is always a part of my life I'm so grateful for the tools and lessons I've learned to keep me going in the rough times.

Since the marathon - the biggest achievement in my life -I have had a downward spiral of life's challenges. A long time relationship ended, my 2 sets of best friends that I've know about the entire time (10yrs) I've been in AZ moved away, my job became extremely stressful. There were so many little things that just kept going on I didn't feel like I could handle it all. I was getting panic attacks, crying all the time, emotionally unable to handle the daily challenges. I felt scared, alone, and lost. I did what I thought I needed to to keep going. I kept my training schedule, I signed up for another marathon (Philly Nov 22 here I come!), I found an herbal supplement to help w/mood, I worked on rebuilding a network of friends, I repaired broken friendships, I got involved in new hiking and biking groups and joined a running group.

It was hard, I had to put myself out there and try new activities and reach out to people, most days it just felt like going through the motions, but I did! One day I looked up and realized I was ACTUALLY having fun - I've got a bigger network of support than I think I ever had before. Just in time because as soon as I was feeling that things were back in place my job asked me to go back to running a restaurant bc of financial troubles. This increased my hours to 50+ a week and put me in front of food and on my feet all day long. I gained 7lbs in the FIRST WEEK - not from eating (not that it was perfect) but from stress and not enough water and changing my schedule. Then I was finally getting that under control when after 14 years w/the same company they laid me off. I should have spazzed - I should have freaked - and granted the day that it happened I was in shock...but since then I've felt ok. A little lost and overwhelmed but emotionally I am here and feel in control!

The day I lost my job I got calls and hugs and support from so many people. I felt like I had this net that came out of nowhere that was there to catch me! It's amazing that when you need a little help and you are able to ask for it people are there! I don't feel alone and I'm not scared. It's been 1 week now and I'm even down 4 of the 7lbs I gained already! Just in time too bc this job hunting thing is a little overwhelming. I never thought I would leave my company. I have worked for them since before I graduated but I know this is just life's way of making me branch out and get out of my box.

Speaking of branching out:


This last weekend I had an opportunity to hike Mt. Humphrey's - AZ's tallest mtn at over 12000 feet high. It was hard - ~10 miles, 3300 ft elevation gain, 6 hours...and all the day after I did a 17.5 mile training run! I started out ok but as the elevation increased I had trouble breathing, my legs were on fire, I had never carried a heavy pack before, I couldn't keep up w/my friends so I was dragging behind. I questioned more than a few times if it was even worth the effort to go to the top. I started to feel out of shape...and then I gave myself a kick in the butt...would I have even attempted this 2 years ago? of course not! I realized I wasn't irritated by the difficult climb - I was irritated I couldn't keep up w/the fast group! Being at the back of the pack just doing an activity is no longer good enough for me -I want to be at the front - I want to be faster, stronger, leaner!

I was almost at the top- exhausted, tired, and spent but I looked up and the friend I came with came back down the summit and was yelling "you got it - woohoo danielle" then she came halfway down and grabbed my hand and led me the rest of the way up the mtn! It was so symbolic of all the support around me. She physically reached out here hand but there are so many people that have done so symbolically and many of them are here on spark...thank you all! This experience just cemented that I still have so many goals -I can't get lazy about the working out, the eating right, there are so many new challenges just around the corner that I must stay focused so that I have the energy and strength to tackle them...just like I tackled this mtn. I wasn't the fastest but next time I'll be faster and the time after that even faster b/c if you can do it once you can do it again!

This picture is me at the very top and there was a very profound moment that as I stood up on that rock I was the TALLEST thing in AZ at that moment...nothing was above me but the entire world was below me! You only grow during life's challenges and this is me growing(uh growing inward NOT OUTWARD!! LOL)! A new job is an opportunity for me to move on and do something completely different...and while that is a little daunting I know that even if I fall a couple times on the way I am loved and supported by so many people I will succeed!
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  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

GLOBALKEEWEE 10/9/2009 11:26PM

    Great perspective, D.
I can't believe you EVER felt alone - you have so many friends who want the world for you. But I know that the reality isn't always what we feel, so I hope that you'll be able to keep this positive outlook even if the going gets tougher before easier again. You are absolutely right - it's a great opportunity to grow, even if it wasn't by choice!
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GONABFIT 10/2/2009 2:24PM

    Congrats! Sounds like you are doing GREAT! It takes courage to reach out and do what needs to be done even when you don't feel like it!

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DIHEALTHYHAPPY 10/2/2009 12:37PM

    Congrats, Danielle, for MOD! Have a wonderful October. It's so awesome how the weather is cooling down. Makes my motivation for exercise go way up.

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JORDAN1019 10/1/2009 4:22PM

    I'm beaming with pride.. Congratulation on your awsome hike and new enlightened beginning!.. emoticon

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JEM0622 10/1/2009 11:35AM

    If you believe it then you will achieve it! And look at your achievements so far! Fantastic! ~Julie

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RASTUS55 10/1/2009 10:33AM

    Sometimes big changes come at times when God has better plans for you. I think this is just a new page of your new and healthier life. Although it seems like such a downer you have made such positive progress with your life. Look at this as an exciting new venture and see where it takes you.
Congratulations on your achievement! You look fabulous!
Ruth
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KAILIIA 10/1/2009 8:32AM

    You have an amazing outlook and are truly deserving of the success you've had.

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LADY_KATHY 10/1/2009 8:21AM

    Keep or put God in the front of your life and your main focus and things will come and our burden will be lifted. My prayers are with you.

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TUNI212 9/29/2009 8:15PM

    I always find inspiration in your life, but this was an amazing post. Thanks for giving us the update... it's good to hear that you are managing all this stress and change with such grace and an eye toward continued growth. Although, I wouldn't really expect any thing different from you. You seem to have really honed the skill of seeing the best in even the most challenging situations.

It was also nice to see Humphrey's Peak! That was my view from my living room and master bedroom for several years - I miss it. Keep at it, better days are right around the corner.

Michelle

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MENT2BE 9/29/2009 5:28PM

    I've always been told that "God never gives you more than you can handle" and based on what you've just described you are a VERY STRONG PERSON!!! You will get through this and someday from a very high point (like that mtn you were standing on) you will see ALL the GOOD that came from this experience.

Blessing you on this journey......called LIFE!!

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MENT2BE 9/29/2009 5:25PM

    I've always been told that "God never gives you more than you can handle" and based on what you've just described you are a VERY STRONG PERSON!!! You will get through this and someday from a very high point (like that mtn you were standing on) you will see ALL the GOOD that came from this experience.

Blessing you on this journey......called LIFE!!

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IRENEAZ 9/29/2009 4:46PM

    emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon
DANIELLE, I read your blog and just felt compelled to say KUDOS TO YOU for putting it all OUT THERE!! I just know you are a stronger, better person and you are so motivated to get things back in ORDER and it will happen. You hang in there and that AMAZING MAN is out there, you just have to find him. Keep you sense of humor, new friends, SPARK PEOPLE, etc. We're all here for you.
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CHELLELEIGH 9/29/2009 4:26PM

    Way to go Danielle. You will be triumphant in the end. You will get your dream job again, you will meet the new man of your dreams, you will conquer this next marathon and you will reach your goal weight! Congratulations on all of your triumphs so far! emoticon

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