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    BABY_GIRL69   347,765
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What Pets Write in Their Dairies . . .

Tuesday, September 22, 2009

WHAT PETS WRITE IN THEIR DIARIES

Excerpts from a Dog's Diary ......



8:00 am - Dog food! My favorite thing!
9:30 am - A car ride! My favorite thing!
9:40 am - A walk in the park! My favorite thing!
10:30 am - Got rubbed and petted! My favorite thing!
12:00 pm - Lunch! My favorite thing!
1:00 pm - Played in the yard! My favorite thing!
3:00 pm - Wagged my tail! My favorite thing!
5:00 pm - Milk Bones! My favorite thing!
7:00 pm - Got to play ball! My favorite thing!
8:00 pm - Wow! Watched TV with the people! My favorite thing!
11:00 pm - Sleeping on the bed! My favorite thing!

Excerpts from a Cat's Daily Diary...


Day 983 of my captivity...

My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects. They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while the other inmates and I are fed hash or some sort of dry nuggets.

Although I make my contempt for the rations perfectly clear, I nevertheless must eat something in order to keep up my strength.

The only thing that keeps me going is my dream of escape. In an attempt to disgust them, I once again vomit on the carpet.

Today I decapitated a mouse and dropped its headless body at their feet. I had hoped this would strike fear into their hearts, since it clearly demonstrates what I am capable of. However, they merely made condescending comments about what a 'good little hunter' I am. Bastards.

There was some sort of assembly of their accomplices tonight. I was placed in solitary confinement for the duration of the event. However, I could hear the noises and smell the food. I overheard that my confinement was due to the power of 'allergies.' I must learn what this means and how to use it to my advantage.

Today I was almost successful in an attempt to assassinate one of my tormentors by weaving around his feet as he was walking. I must try this again tomorrow -- but at the top of the stairs.

I am convinced that the other prisoners here are flunkies and snitches. The dog receives special privileges. He is regularly released - and seems to be more than willing to return. He is obviously retarded.

The bird has got to be an informant. I observe him communicating with the guards regularly. I am certain that he reports my every move. My captors have arranged protective custody for him in an elevated cell, so he is safe. For now ...


Today I write in my dairy that I am feeling very blah & trying to get a hold on my eating. . . One day I will reach the goals I have for myself.

Blessings & Have a Fit & Fun Day!

Dee
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  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

CCFIRECRACKER 9/24/2009 6:13PM

    i have always adored that "captivity" story. having 4 cats, it cracks me up everytime i read it!

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GODZDESIGN95 9/24/2009 10:30AM

    HEHE I cam close to saying that you were not a cat person. LOL. I would rather deal with cats any day. Keep going! Girl you know you got it going on.!

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CHIMEL 9/23/2009 1:47PM

    Love it!

Are you dancing today?

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SPARKLE1908 9/23/2009 9:22AM

    too funny!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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JUSTFOXXY 9/23/2009 4:38AM

    Hmmm,

I couldn't tell if that last comment was from you or the cat. emoticon

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ESSEXCHICKIE 9/23/2009 2:09AM

    It brought a smile to my face and you know what ??? It is all true !!!!!!!!

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DEEJACKSON 9/22/2009 3:29PM

    That was HILARIOUS!!! I got a big kick out of it. Thanks for the smile!



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ANMAIREE 9/22/2009 3:20PM

    I agree with NUTTE1 100% emoticon

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NUTTE1 9/22/2009 3:02PM

    HYSTERICAL!

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KVM23. 9/22/2009 2:53PM

    this was very strange but also very entertaining. i liked it a lot.

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