so, i was reading someone's activity feed, and all it said, is i'm happy today
that really threw me for a loop
for those that haven't been following my saga here, last spring, i finally decided to try the magic anti-depressants-- no special reason, i do believe, i've always been depressed, i don't know if i've ever really been happy......but, i guess, what the hey does that mean??
so anyways, it's almost scary how easy i got the pills from my doctor
and i was excited, figured these would fix me.......a happy pill, sweet!!
so, no happy tho.......the only thing i'll give them credit for, i was calm, actually, pretty darn apathetic, so, for a while, i thought that was kind of cool, no losing my temper, no getting disgusted with stuff, just, going along........
and, i hate to say it, but, i suspect, others LOVED me!! let them do what they want, i didn't care, wasn't gonna fight, etc
uummmmmmmm, NO EXCUSES-- but, i suspect that is also behind my lack of interest, lack of caring, about weight-- i honestly have not gotten on the scale in 9 weeks? and, i know i'm up-- a lot......but, worse part is, i didn't really care
so, i'm off of them, was a lil scared to do it, i sure have read the warnings about going off-- suicidal, crazy thoughts, etc......but i weaned myself off, and i didn't have any of that crazy stuff
wow-- can i tell the difference!! i'm loving it, but i can tell you, others aren't.....i've had words with people, said stuff i usually only think, but, you know what, i don't care! no more lying down........it truly is not me!
i'll have to do a blog on that scale number tomorrow.........truly seeing the reality-- i doubt that'll make me happy, but........i am happier being "real"
i'll make my own happiness.........my own way.......
and, THIS makes me happy.........
( i was gonna add youtube link again, but, it's in my last blog.......)
and, i'm thinking it's time for a makeover on my sparkpage
new starts........think i should keep my name tho
so.............move it, move it..............