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The Hard Look

Monday, September 21, 2009

I just read a blog entry by a member that has made me take a hard look at myself. This person is really battling a lot to attain a healthy body and lifestyle. Two days ago (s)he posted that they have quit smoking. I have been a smoker since the age of 14. I am now 39. The math about the cost in money and my health boggles my mind. When I first lost weight, I never considered removing cigarettes. When I first joined SP, I put on my page that I was going to quit. I think a lot of people are going to quit doing something. Very few are determined to follow through. My goal is to be healthy and to not face many of the medical problems I deal with on a daily basis at work. Well most of the problems and conditions I deal with and see in my patients are caused by or exacerbated by those little paper tubes filled with a plant that has become my drug of choice. Yes, cigarettes are a drug. The nicotine that makes them addictive is one of the most toxic substances in the natural world. And I am willingly putting it into my body. No more. I have quit for a while in the past. I refrained from smoking during both my pregnancies, but went back after I stopped nursing. If I truly want to make the changes that I say I do and that this site is helping me make, I need to let go of that demon. Soo, I had my last cigarette an hour ago. There are no more in the house and I would have to make an effort to actually go get a pack. I don't have a car and the nearest store is not in easy walking distance. I leave for work at 4:45 pm and if I get get off the bus and catch the next one, I'll be late for work. This is the best time for me to do this. It will be hard and I will ask forgiveness from every one around me ahead of time for my bad mood. Someone has Yoda's quote from "The Empire Strikes Back" on their page; "Do or not do, there is no try." It's time for me to "do".
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