I honestly have no idea what to name this blog post. I haven't been very active on here the past few months. Recently I've been coming on more and more often though. I had started drinking energy drinks and smoking again. I have officially quit both, it's only been this week so I know it's going to get hard, at least with the smoking, but I know I can do it. I wanted to write about something that happened to me this past weekend and I only feel comfortable writing about it on here, even though I am really embarrassed about it.

Ok, so I was at a birthday party on Saturday night for one of my good friends. All of our friends were there and everyone was drinking and having a good time. A couple of my friends get out of hand at every party so I occasionally step in to stop something stupid from happening because no one really messes with me. Well one guy was trying to dunk a girls head into a thing of ice water so I stepped in and told him to back off. She went with a couple of other girls to the bathroom to clean the cupcake off her face that that guy had shoved in her face and I was standing in the door way so the guy couldn't come in and bug her more. He was pretending he was going to tackle me to get through and so I was playing along. Basically everyone at the party was standing around because this guy always is doing something weird or dumb. So one guy was holding the other one back because he knew I would actually kick him if he really wanted to get through. Everyone was laughing at it pretty much because it was funny. I kicked off my shoes because I wanted to play along and act like I was going to really get him. Once I had kicked my shoes off I stood back up in the hall and I hear this one guy say, "Look it's sumo wrestling!" You know when Sumo wrestlers entire the ring and stomp their feet? Well he was doing that, staring at me, laughing and he kept saying it's sumo!! I quickly put my shoes on and went outside after that. I stood outside trying not to cry and my husband came out and asked me what was wrong because he could tell right away that something was up with me. I couldn't tell him because I was so embarrassed and mad. I did end up telling him later that night and he made me feel better, but the night was completely ruined after that. Every since Saturday I have been in a kind of dazed state.

I don't know how to feel so what do you guys think? I am feeling so many things about this situation that I am kinda in a numb daze because I don't know what to think. Am I wrong for being upset about something like that? Or...I don't know... Anyway I am kinda embarrassed about writing this because I don't know how much of it actually makes sense and I know most of it is a rant. But it did feel good to get it out of my system.

****The guy who was dunking the girls head into the water is different from the guy who was saying that stuff. And the girl and guy who were doing the cupcakes and stuff are consistantly doing that dramatic stuff to get attention. They both love it. But I stepped in because the girl was really drunk and wasn't strong enough to get him off even if she did want him to stop which I honestly didn't know if she did but I personally had enough of him acting stupid.