Tuesday, September 15, 2009
Boy...a whole lot of life has happened this summer!!! Memorial Day weekend and June were pretty normal....got the pool opened, waited patiently for warm weather, planted some flowers, some new shrubs, a couple of tomato plants...then promptly covered them up when the frost warning was issued...you know...normal stuff here in Michigan!!!!
July started with small fire in my mom's apartment (she's fine...could have been soooo much worse!!). Had to move her out to a local motel for most of the summer where she tripped herself and fell and sprained both ankles....again, could have been soooo much worse!!. But she is back home now and recovering nicely and almost settled......well, she will be as soon as her daughter (yours truly) finishes hanging pictures, rearranging spare bedroom, hangs rest of curtains and finishes her laundry!!! Am very, very thankful she's o.k. and love her dearly, but it did make for a long summer on top of all the yard work I had planned and for the most part completed....those hours ended up being my sanity as well as my "physical activity", so again, can't complain there!!! Plus, the back yard looks pretty darn good if I do say so myself!! (Pics later)
Although "losing weight" and "traditional exercise" were not in the forefront this summer, I still managed to take off a few more pounds (119 total/33 to go I think!) Size18 pants still fit nicely thank you!!! So, as far as "new healthy lifestyle" goes....well....it just seems to go along it's merry way.....seems to me it's become somewhat my second nature and it's pretty hard to make really "bad" choices....there have been a few exceptions - you know the food at summer BBQ's - not always the "healthiest" selections, but what I ate were MY choices and I tried to balance them out on surrounding days - even took fresh fruit to the last one!!!!
THEN, there was that night during the whole, entire, seemingly never ending craziness of the Cash for Clunkers experience at work...I found myself just wanting food....any food - didn't matter - just give me food that was soft, gooey, tasteless - maybe lots of sugar or salt -- maybe some of both -- just something easy to eat that barely needs chewing and LOTS of it...I mean LOTS of it!!!! BUT!!! I stopped myself before I took that plunge into the realm of pure comfort eating that soothes all the ills of the day and makes everything better right now!!! Just in the nick of time, I had one of those incredible, undeniable, never gonna forget it AH HA!! moments!!! The whole situation was a potential textbook "stress eating" and "comfort me" moment.....instigated and driven by way too much noisy noise, never ending inquiries about the Clunker program, some sales as a result with LOTS of paperwork (but almost too much hassle for the ultimate outcome!?!?), fatigue from long hours at the dealership, lots of people -some nice, some well, not so nice, making sure Mama was O.K., really wanting to work in the yard, but just don't have the energy, so just GIVE ME FOOD - I KNOW THAT WILL MAKE IT BETTER!!!! OH YEAH......GIVE ME FOOD!!!!!
NO, NO, NO!!!!!! Wait a minute......that was the old lifestyle....the lifestyle that took way too much comfort in chewing, the one that could down a whole pack of oreos - each one dunked in milk of course!! - one that went through the closest drive thru and got every burger that sounded good....do you want fries with that??? Hell yes!!! and super size 'em!!!!! NO!!! NO!!! NO!!! This is no longer my lifestyle, this is not how I make food choices
AH HA!!!!!.....this is making food choices based purely on how I FEEL...and I feel pretty stressed right now!! This is making food choices with no regard to actual hunger or whether or not it's a "good" choice or a healthy choice....who cares??? I just want food!!!! This is completely disregarding the outcome or the consequences or how I'd feel tomorrow after eating lots and lots of "bad" unhealthy "stuff"......cause all that matters right now is that I WANT TO BE COMFORTED....I NEED TO BE COMFORTED....I HAVE TO BE COMFORTED RIGHT NOW!!!!! SO GIVE ME FOOD AND GIVE ME LOTS OF IT!!!!!!!
AH HA!!!!!....I do not live this way anymore.....I eat because I am hungry and my body needs food....much like a car needs gas!!! I choose daily to take the time to make "good" choices, pick food that has substance, pick food that makes sense for me and in portions that are appropriate. I choose daily to eat healthy food, not unhealthy!! I'm pretty confident that I now understand 'stress eating" and how it brought comfort to me in the past......in my old lifestyle. I'm pretty sure now that I understand it, can easily identify it, acknowledge it and stay away from it!!!!!
By the way, that particular day was still pretty bad, I was still pretty tired but knew I really, really needed some food. I had very little energy or desire to eat, plus the "AH HA" moment had finished wearing me out!!! So.....dinner ended up being a Skinny Cow ice cream sandwich and a bowl of Fiber One cereal..............all in all, it was pretty comforting I'd say!!!!
Take care......its' nice to be back!!!