Saturday, September 12, 2009
So I'm feeling a little defeated right now. It's a big change from the beginning of the week when I was so happy because I finally got another dog. She is doing great but I think the last owners might have abused her. She is very timid and corwards whenever I correct her behavior. It's gonna take time but I'm willing to nature her with lots of love. She is not the source of the problem. My brother is the problem.
Well not per say THE problem, more like he's causing problems. My older brother Tony is 41yrs old but he has a mind like a 3yr old. My brother is mentally retarded. He's considered severely mentally retarded. But he is able to do things for himself. Like in the mornings I lay out his clothes and he dresses himself. He can eat by himself but you need to watch him because he tends to stuff everything into his mouth at once. I'm afraid he will choke so I have to constantly tell him to "slow down" and "finish what you have in your mouth." I have to supervise him when he showers and pretty much correct his behavior when needed. During the day I send him to an adult day care center. This is where the problems begins.
He is so stubborn. He will not listen to anyone who is not firm with him. Most people feel sorry for him so they don't want to be firm with him. He knows this and he uses it against them. So they tell me that he is shaking people's chairs, asking for money, and getting into people's faces. I have never seen this behavior from him but then again I am very firm with him. He usually doesn't get mean unless someone has done something to him. He has been acting up since our mother passed away. I thought I had him under control but on Friday he planted himself on the floor and refused to move. The day before he took his cap off and slammed it on the table several times. Usually when he acts up I just keep him home from day care. He loves going to day care so keeping him from going he realizes that he did something wrong. Unfortunely it is no longer working. So I'm at wits end. I don't know what to do anymore. Maybe I'm in way over my head. My mother left me in charge of him. None of my brothers and sisters have even tried to help me out. I'm the baby of the family. I'm number 9 from my siblings. Most of my brothers and sisters are about 23 yr older then me. I figure at least one of them would try to help me. I should of known better.
I'm so fustrated. I don't know what to do. How do you correct someone's behavior when they don't understand what they did wrong? There are times I wish my mother didn't leave him with me. Is that bad to wish? I don't know. I keep thinking God is going to be mad at me if I don't take care of him right or if I try to pawn him off on one of my siblings. I have the resources to take care of him. I guess I'm being selfish. I just want to enjoy life without having to worry about what will happen if for some reason I don't take care of Tony right. What do I do?
I'm lost right now. And because of this week's stress with my brother, I have not exercised except for a few mins here and there. I haven't eaten right so the exercise is pointless. I ate more calories then I burned. I'm hoping next week will be better. I'll have to figure out what to do with Tony. I promise to watch what I eat and try to get in more exercise. My first week of the challenge and already I'm failing to keep up. It feels like someone tripped me at the starting line.