Monday, September 07, 2009
Well, I fell off the wagon, again. I climbed back on again. I just wonder how many times am I going to go through this back and forth before I have success. I don't mean a huge one, I mean a medium goal of 225? I have been struggling for 9 months to reach 225 and I started at 278. I am still sitting at 240. I have started back walking for about 2 weeks. I use my daughter being at school to go for a walk at 9am for 2 miles or so. When I get a good sports bra I wanted to try a walk run program. I've been lurking around couch to 5k team learning some different things. I know I can do that simple program, I know I can run for 60 sec. I proved that to myself the other day. I ran about half a block without thinking I was going to die. I have gained some fitness ground and for that I'm glad. I just wish I could shed another 15 lbs without feeling like I'm struggling, as in thinking am I going to make it? Can I really do this? I don't want to spend my 30's fat. And I'm coming up on them awfully fast. 30 is around the corner and I want to see it at my goal. I have a small/big goal of a sz 16 by Christmas. That's just 2 sizes. I just wish I had a spouse who believed in me, it's such a downer when I hear "I don't know" as an answer to " Do you think I can do this?". Just once I want to hear "yeah, I think you can do it" . I 'm not asking for enthusiasm, just a little " I think you can get to your goal" instead of eating ice cream in front of me and going "MMmmmmm, Oh,MMMMMmmmm". How cruel can he be? I just want to be a sz 14 again. I know that might not sound small, but I look good at a sz 14. I can't wait to go shopping and slip on a dress and read the tag and have it read sz 14! I can't wait to get there, but I have 80lbs before I get there, ::sigh:: I just hope I don't fall off the wagon again.