Entry 4

Monday, September 07, 2009

Well, I fell off the wagon, again. I climbed back on again. I just wonder how many times am I going to go through this back and forth before I have success. I don't mean a huge one, I mean a medium goal of 225? I have been struggling for 9 months to reach 225 and I started at 278. I am still sitting at 240. I have started back walking for about 2 weeks. I use my daughter being at school to go for a walk at 9am for 2 miles or so. When I get a good sports bra I wanted to try a walk run program. I've been lurking around couch to 5k team learning some different things. I know I can do that simple program, I know I can run for 60 sec. I proved that to myself the other day. I ran about half a block without thinking I was going to die. I have gained some fitness ground and for that I'm glad. I just wish I could shed another 15 lbs without feeling like I'm struggling, as in thinking am I going to make it? Can I really do this? I don't want to spend my 30's fat. And I'm coming up on them awfully fast. 30 is around the corner and I want to see it at my goal. I have a small/big goal of a sz 16 by Christmas. That's just 2 sizes. I just wish I had a spouse who believed in me, it's such a downer when I hear "I don't know" as an answer to " Do you think I can do this?". Just once I want to hear "yeah, I think you can do it" . I 'm not asking for enthusiasm, just a little " I think you can get to your goal" instead of eating ice cream in front of me and going "MMmmmmm, Oh,MMMMMmmmm". How cruel can he be? I just want to be a sz 14 again. I know that might not sound small, but I look good at a sz 14. I can't wait to go shopping and slip on a dress and read the tag and have it read sz 14! I can't wait to get there, but I have 80lbs before I get there, ::sigh:: I just hope I don't fall off the wagon again.
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  • -STINA-
    I've been struggling too..I got 18 lbs off and then kind of have been teetering around the same weight for months. I finally had my first loss this week (maybe..I'm waiting another week to see if it really stuck).

    I know for sure I haven't been paying as close attention to staying in my ranges every day. I haven't been tracking my food as closely.

    I think it's awesome that you're back to walking and I'd encourage you to try to get back on track with eating if you're having the same problem I am with it. I'm trying with baby steps back up to where I was doing really good.

    Remember that this is for the long haul and there may be periods of time where you aren't exactly on track and not losing as much. As long as you don't gain back some, I think that is ok (even if you long as you try to reverse that ASAP, you're doing ok). Even the fact that you are thinking about it and that making the right decisions is a consideration in your mind is a good thing - you haven't given up! and each lb. lost is 1 more you'll never have on your body again..even if it's only a small amount of loss in a long time..ya know?

    Anyway..stick with it, and just focus on the small things and keep building them up. You can do it! :)
    3086 days ago
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    Disclaimer: Weight loss results will vary from person to person. No individual result should be seen as a typical result of following the SparkPeople program.

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