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She didn't recognize me! lol

Saturday, September 05, 2009

So I ran into a neighbor today, just as I was finishing my run. I don't see her very often. I've probably talked her 4 times since moving to New Jersey (which was in 2006). She was out walking her dog and just happened to be standing next to the marker post that marked my goal, and end of run. So I stopped running and went over and said Hi. At first she probably thought i was any ol' runner on the trail (in this town, its normal to say Hi or Good Morning to people you pass on the trail), but then realized who I was. It was funny. I assumed that she didn't recognize me because I was red faced and sweaty, but she just said "My God, Theresa, I totally didn't recognize you! You look great! How much weight have you lost?!?"

Now this was a regular occurance about a year ago, but not something thats happened to me recently. Thats why it was such a treat :-). And, even though I've been feeling a little down about gain back a few pounds from my weight low, I was still able to say, "well, I guess about 50 pounds.... sometimes its more like 45 pounds, and sometimes its more like 50, but i guess today, technically its 48 pounds. But really I reached that goal about a year ago, and not much has happened since. I've just been fluctuating around 50." And I listened to my tone. I sortof sounded disappointed in myself. Like I'd reached some ultimate goal of 55 pounds lost, and then I'd somehow failed because now I was *only* at 48 pounds lost. She said "Wow, that's fantastic!" And it was like a little bell went off in my head...

And I thought...

Yeah, girl, that is fantastic. You've been b*tching about gaining back weight, but you've been hovering around the same weight for an *entire* year, and you're still 48 pounds lighter. Why are you making that sound like a BAD thing? Are you actually disappointed in yourself for that?

So here I am, a year later, and somehow, in a bizarre way, finally giving myself credit.

Its sad that we can be so quick to criticize, and quick to downplay our accomplishments and highlight our failures. I think I always knew that about myself, but maybe just realized how often I do it!

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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    YOU ROCK! emoticon I never would have been able to accomplish what you have when my kids were small like yours are.

    3120 days ago
    I needed to read this today, Tessa...so thanks! I'm so very bummed about where I am right now - 12 pounds over goal and unable to budge that daggone scale, but you're right....I've kept off 58 pounds and I'm still working hard at being healthy. So I have lots to be proud of - as do you!! So glad you're still here, still sparking, still being such a great motivator and friend!! :) Have a great weekend!

    3120 days ago
    It is amazing, isn't it. LOL. You deserve a pat on the back.
    3120 days ago
    It is amazing, isn't it. LOL. You deserve a pat on the back.
    3120 days ago
    You have done wonderfully in keeping a major part of your loss off.
    3120 days ago
    Glad you are taking credit...holding our own, even if not at goal is an accomplishment!
    3120 days ago
    That's amazing! I've been stalled most of this year ( after losing 47 pounds last year) & beating myself up too! Thank you so much for this! I'm 47 oounds lighter, why isn't that a good thing?
    3120 days ago
    I think your reaction is normal. I started at 260 in 2003 and got down to 163. I'm now at 195 - still 65 pounds gone and not obese like I was at 260 - and I get on myself really harshly about being "fat". Although I'm not happy about gaining so much weight back (it happened mostly during student-teaching - major stress!!!), I have to remind myself that I'm still way better off than I was. Now I can say "I have 30 pounds to lose" instead of "I have 100 pounds to lose."
    3120 days ago
    You deserve huge credit for maintaining!
    Congrats on the compliment!
    No such thing as "only" 50 pounds! (or 48!)
    3120 days ago
    I'm glad you realized how amazing it is! Congrats on your Success!!! emoticon
    3120 days ago
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