My Day Off and Nicole's Latest Torture
Sunday, August 16, 2009
A while ago, I set Sunday as my "Day Off". I pledged to track my nutrition and water, but would take the day off from the exercise part of the program. I was really doing well at this, until today.
Today I found an email from SP about working with the ball. It was from Nicole, so one would think I would exercise caution. But no.
I click on the video, and she is sitting there on her blue ball, looking all innocent and nice, so I listen to her discussing the benefits of working out with the ball. Nothing wrong here, and it is interesting to hear some information I previously lacked. Then there is this link to a 5 Minute Booty Exercise With Ball video. This is where it all goes to hell.
I get my ball, lie on the floor as Nicole instructs, and do the first exercise. It is easy, and I can do it, concentrating on breathing correctly. She tells me to put both feet up on the ball, and roll it slowly so that my knees are coming toward my chest, using my arms and shoulders for support and balance, being sure to keep my back firmly on the floor. I do that.
Then she "steps it up a bit". We do bridges with the ball. Okay, I am with her, but this is a little more challenging because I have to remember to balance. I manage to get through them, and now here she comes.
"A bit more challenging" says She Who Must be Obeyed. Cross one ankle over the knee and do bridging THAT way. I get my left ankle over the right knee, still flat on the floor with my right foot on the ball, and try to bridge.
WHO IS SHE KIDDING??? I dig my heel into the ball and try again. Nope. Butt doesn't want anythng to do with this one. I try again, same result, and break out laughing. This doesn't help matters, and I tip over.
Yep. I tip over while lying on the floor. Tipping over is one of my specialties, but I have never tipped over while on the floor before. At least I won't get any tipping over bruises from that one.
Oh. there SHE is again, only telling us to "switch sides and do the same thing with the other leg". WHAT same thing?? Does she mean I should try doing a bridging or tipping over? I have a moment of sanity and remember she can't see me in my room, so she must mean doing the bridge thing.
Holy Cow! Left side (ignorant side) knows how to do this!! I can actually get my butt off the floor! What a revelation! A true epiphany!! LEFT SIDE knows something Right Side doesn't! I go for it. I am doing these bridges, one, two, uh, strain three, PUUUUUL on four and barely make it to five. This is really a WORKOUT!
Then we do these wonderful stretches, which are heavenly because I am not lifting Butt off the floor, and the workout is over.
Something is wrong. She is thanking me for doing a 5 minute BOOTY workout. I don't feel anything in my booty as far as having been worked out. My abs and back thighs are quivering and sobbing.
I am not kidding here. I know my back thighs are sobbing. They have never been so abused in their lives, and they weren't even asked permission to be abused. Poor things!
Even the cellulite is mad at me for disturbing the bed upon which it grows.
And so, Dear Reader, I take my quivering, sobbing thighs to the shower, where I will annoint them with body oil after cleansing them as a means of repairing the damage I just did them.
Now, I shall continue with My Day Off.