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    SPRING4FAL   60,561
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One Day at a Time

Tuesday, August 11, 2009

Since I really, really try to remain a very positive person, I haven't been blogging much lately. We all go through times in our lives when our journey isn't all happy happy joy joy and that is one of those times for me. Not to say that I am not fortunate or blessed but at times life can be hard to swallow.

Losing my dad was an obvious blow. A very big blow. Unfortunately, his passing was just the beginning of a tough journey. There are so many things that have to be taken care of and none of it can be done over night. I have been handling things pretty well but I have my moments. This is the grieving process. You are plotting along and all of a sudden you get hit by the emotion and finality of it all. It just sucks. I miss my dad terribly

Having to get his things ready for an estate sale has gone well because of such FANTASTIC friends, a few of which I met here on spark. Not only are they there for me on my weight loss journey, they have been there for me on this journey called life. I want to thank Happy92003 (Kelly) because I don't know where I would be without your encouragement, support and help. You are the bestest sparkfriend (or just plain friend) a girl could ask for! Fhamwey and wolfkitty are two other great sparkfriends that have really stepped up to the plate and helped me out. Thanks ladies! You guys help show what sparklove is all about! THANK YOU!!!

I also have to co workers who I have recruited to spark and they just rock my socks off!!! SHEQWOLFE and SPARKBURP are lovely ladies who never let me down. They stand by my side and are my support on a daily basis. I hope that I can be the friend to them that they have been to me.

I have a lot to take care of in the coming weeks like trying to sell two Harley Davidson motorcycles, an F-150 truck, and a lifetime worth of accumulated items in an estate sale on 8/22. I also am now responsible for selling my father's condo. I need to pay off a few thousand dollars worth of debt and the list goes on and on. I am lucky, yes, but I am also stressed. This has affected my ability to maintain my healthy eating and exercise habits. I have used this as an excuse to wander off track. THIS IS NO EXCUSE. Life throws us roadblocks and our job is to learn to maneuver them successfully and I am going to focus on this. I may not be able to control all of the things going on around me but I can control my eating and I can control my exercise habits. I need to remember that I feel better about myself and life in general when I am doing these things.

I am not saying that sometimes we need to not be as hard on ourselves but this is not necessary FOR ME. I have been doing this long enough that I have all the skills needed to stay on track. I just need to utilize them. Being rested, energized from eating the right foods and getting in some physical exertion helps me face the day more successfully. I need to remember that.

I am going to stop worrying so much and let God handle it. Sometimes it seems that we try to handle things ourselves and He reminds us that we need his assistance. This journey has shown me that. All in due time. All things will fall into place.
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  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

RACHSW1MS 10/2/2009 5:51AM

    Aww Leah, I am so sorry to hear about your Dad's passing. I have been away from Spark for a while and I am just now getting caught up. emoticon

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NKDUB211 8/20/2009 9:04AM

    emoticon One suggestion I have for you that might help is throwing yourself into an activity that may honor your father in some way. That is really what helped me "grieve". My father passed in the beginning of January and by the beginning of February I was walking in the Start! Heart Walk to benefit the American Heart Association. I went through a bit of depression after he passed but going out and spreading the word about this great charity really helped me to get through it. I will be thinking of you this weekend! Stay strong girlie and if you feel the tears coming just let them flow it's a cleansing process!!! emoticon

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LILHLFPINT 8/13/2009 12:08AM

    (::hugs:: i'm so glad you have good friends to help you through this difficult time. it's completely understandable to feel overwhelmed but it sounds like you are dealing with this situation to the best of your ability. i admire your positive attitude.

stay strong, girl. ::hugs::)

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TERRIFICLYFIT 8/12/2009 2:07PM

    Goodness, you certainly do have a lot on your shoulders. And somehow you always smile through it. What a strong, determined woman you are. It sounds like you are trying to find your balance. The most important thing to always remember is that your health comes first. I know that's hard as a mom and as friend and as a daughter who wants to do anything you can do help and get through this. But YOU COME FIRST. Take care of yourself, Leah, and then you can soldier on with more strength and determination than you ever thought possible. We are here for you.

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ANDREA0301 8/12/2009 1:29PM

    emoticon emoticon emoticon

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HAPPY92003 8/12/2009 1:06PM

    Leah you are amazing...as Chenia said while most of us are wrapped up in our own lives (me included) you are consistently reaching out to people encouraging, lifting up. Even this post is reaching out. In your pain you are sharing your struggles and using it as a teaching moment for those of us that have not learned this particular lesson yet. I am consistently amazed at your strength and determination... You are truly a blessing to all who get to know you...and I am so thankful to have met such a wonderful friend here on Spark:)
Love ya girly!!!

Kelly


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LDY_ALI_79 8/12/2009 12:36PM

    I tremendously understand how you feel! My mother unexpectantly died in February and I had a hard time. In our hearts it feels like yesterday despite it being days. I stopped tracking my food and was just aimlessly heading down the wrong path. I was grieving terribly and this day I told myself it's time to gain control of the situation b/c I started gaining weight that I had already lost.

So I'm proud of you for "letting go and letting God", it will get better. Take one day at a time & embrace the wonderful moments you had with him.

Good luck with the estate sale!

Tamika

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COFFEE-MATE-Y 8/12/2009 12:10PM

    I think the title of your blog says it all... "one day at a time" That's pretty relevant actually to everything. That's all we can do. I miss you and wish I was closer! Sounds like Happy is taking good care of you!! :) I wrote in my H.S. year book... "all things happen for a reason" There must be a bigger plan for you dad! I know he is doing well and at peace.
Dealing with this Leah, you are such an inspiration to me. Your ability to still deal with life-to-life tasks, and even visit us here on Spark. You are such a wonderful person and I know that you'll make it through this hard time.
:::::::::: hugs :::::::::::::::::::

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GLAZED-DONUT 8/12/2009 11:51AM

    Hi girl (-: Thank you so much for sharing your journey. You’re so right, not every day of life is all sunshine, joy and roses. A person cant ALWAYS be full of life, and positive. Ive never lost a parent so don’t know how much it really hurts, but having the recent scare with my Dad…. wow.. it was difficult!
Isnt it crazy how awesome the people at Spark are? Its comforting to know people that may not even “know” us are so willing to be there to support, comfort, help…
YOU my dear are a very special, strong person, never forget that!
(hugs).


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ZIRCADIA 8/12/2009 10:23AM

    It's not an excuse to go hogwild, but at the same time, it's a reason to explain why you're having a harder time staying focused and being able to accept that and understand and realize the factors in your life will only help you to be able to stay on track in a better way. You have a great attitude and I am so sorry that you are having to deal with such a tough situation but I'm REALLY glad you have such great friends surrounding and supporting you! *HUGS*

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S318830 8/12/2009 2:58AM

    Geez woman, you've sure got a few followers here on Sparks! :-)

I'm glad you decided to blog. It gives people a chance to see that maintenance isn't easy, and it also lets them support you and cheer you on. I'm so terribly sorry about your father. You're doing a great job dealing with it all.

See you soon...!

Deb

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10YEARSTOGETHER 8/12/2009 2:14AM

    My dear Spark friend, we're here to support you. I'm sorry that you're going through this sad time. Let yourself grieve and count your blessings. You have a beautiful daughter and will soon be married to the love of your life. You're healthy and gorgeous inside and out, never forget these things. I wish I could give you a big hug. It's all in God's hands, and I know in my heart he will guide you to do the best things.

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THENEWJOAN 8/12/2009 12:37AM

    Thank you for sharing your journey. I, too, have lost a loved one to lung cancer (I HATE it!) and have also lost both parents. Nothing is more devastating. I didn't want to face a world that didn't have my loved ones in it. I can't imagine having the responsibility of "managing the affairs" on top of everything else. Be sure to lean on your friends - that's what they're there for, truly. Let them help you. And do live your life to make your dad proud. I don't even know you and I'm proud of you and your upbeat attitude! And remember to take care of yourself.

Good luck with the hard stuff. We're all cheering for you...

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SPARKLINGVIOLET 8/12/2009 12:23AM

    Leah,

Because I've never lost a parent, I can't begin to understand what you're going through, but know that I just want to give you a huge hug! You're SO motivating to others and you're so strong and sometimes we tend to forget that you need US too. I think the last time I saw you was at the Spark Convention and I can still see you up there giving your motivational speech. You were so strong and confident! You literally gave me chills just listening to your story. I know you're stronger than most and writing this blog proves it. There aren't very many people who can admit that sometimes life is hard and that sometimes we all stray off course. Thank you for always being so honest with your Spark friends! We are all here for you in whatever you need--it's the least we can do for all the constant motivation you've ever given us! You've helped change my life...and for this, I am ever indebted to you.

emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

Violet

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YIBYAB 8/12/2009 12:11AM

    Thanks for sharing this with us, as difficult as it must be.

emoticon

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WOLFKITTY 8/12/2009 12:01AM

    She IS an amazing person, Chenia! :)

I love you Leah! And I'll do everything I can to help. You will get through this, and be stronger than ever!
emoticon emoticon emoticon

Jocelyn

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CHENIA 8/11/2009 11:54PM

    Hi Leah!

I just wanted to stop by and say hi and express to you what a true inspiration you are! Not only to me, but to everyone who's lives you have touched. I am sure many people will agree you have been so strong throughout this journey you are on, and will continue to be. You have been so positive, and uplifting, and always offering a kind word. It takes a special kind of person to do what you do. And I can appreciate that so much, because while most everyone (myself included) go through our daily lives only thinking about their own goings-on, I always see a post from you, or a comment from someone else about a post you made on their page, and it just strikes a cord for me.

You truly care about everyone, and I can tell. You are an amazing person and just know we are here for you!

Hugs,
Chenia

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CAOMAGIC 8/11/2009 11:51PM

    God and your true friends will always be there for you!! I will keep you in my prayers tonight.

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DDOORN 8/11/2009 11:27PM

    I think it can be SO tough to blog through the tough times...BUT: so rewarding too!

We, your SparkFamily are always here 24/7...and sometimes sharing is enough to be really helpful for yourself...!

Thank you for sharing your struggles...

Don

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CRICKET412 8/11/2009 11:18PM

    Let GOD take the wheel. Good Luck on your Journey!

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