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    JENNIFER994   57,070
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Feeling Resentful and Tired

Tuesday, August 11, 2009

At times I resent being female. Everyone expects you to take care of them, but they don't give anything back, except my husband, thank God. I can understand this with my kids, who are 7 and 14, that's how kids are. But, my grown extended family is this way, also. I need to learn to tell them to go to He** in so many words, not literally, but just to not care what they think of me, and set boundaries and limits. I'm really annoyed that my older sister is coming in town, they have always pandered to her, and now I'm expected to fall in line, join in with them, drop everything in my life, and go pay her homage. Yes, I'm a little bitter. Now I have something else to pray about and let go of. I see that I still have some jealousy and bitterness over my toxic and dysfunctional family system. I do want to see her, but I need to have my own needs taken into account, too. I've emailed her several times, to suggest various activities that would meet the needs of my boys and I, and her and her older kids too, but have had no response from her. Most of the time I'm over these ugly family issues, but they seem to raise their heads whenever my sisters come into town for a visit.
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JENNIFER994 8/11/2009 12:38PM

    Well my kids are starting school on August 17, and my aunt is having a small pool gathering for my sister, her family, and other extended family members, and my sister is putting pressure to go, even though she *knows* that is their first day of school, and my 14 year old's first ever day of high school! The pool party is during the mid-day, but my 7 year old gets of at 1:15, my 14 yr old at 3:00. They each go to a private school, and these schools are not close to each other, so it involved lots of driving on my part that day, especially with the early 1:15 dismissal for the one. I am disappointed that my sister planned this trip for the week that my kids start school, especially since her kids are my boys' only cousins. Whatever. I'm not going to twist myself into a pretzel to accommodate her and everyone else's wishes. I'm already exhausted and stretched to the limit trying to care for my own kids and home. The family has always helped and supported her in raising her kids, but never gave me any help or support in raising my kids.

Comment edited on: 8/11/2009 12:39:26 PM

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BOVEY63 8/11/2009 12:11PM

    I can certainly understand where you are coming from. It's the same thing when my brother comes home - my mom drops everything even though he continues to sh** all over her; and my sister and I are left to pick up the pieces. The ironic thing is that it used to drive Mom nuts when my grandma did the same thing for my uncle.

It is so great that your husband is there for you. If I didn't have my sister by my side, visits from my brother would be even more uncomfortable.

Sending a prayer your way that you get through the visit with the least amount of stress.
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